I'm so tired...

I feel so worhtless, disgusting, like I am never going to get better or be okay.. Nothing seems to be going quite right... I'm soo done.. I just want to disappear...  I'm so tired.. Can't keep doing this...  What's the point.. I am going no where in life... I'm useless and a waste of space..  I keep trying so hard to not give up... But I'm reaching my breaking point.... Maybe everyone would be better off if I did just kill myself.... My family could sell my shit, not have to support me, no one would have to deal with my emotions and drama... It'd make everything so much better... No one needs me anyways.... I don't even want to exist anymore... I keep telling myself to hold on, stay strong and it'll all be okay.. But I feel like I'm just lying to myself.. I have no future, I'm probably the biggest dumbass on the whole damn planet.. No one wants me, I'm always everyones back up plan or mistake... The only people who do want me treat me like shit... Or maybe it's jsut me.. Maybe I really am just the issue.... Maybe I'm so fucked up that no one will ever want me... Maybe I'm beyond help... I stay sooo tempted to just kill myself.. end it all now... I have a gun and a box of ammo... One bullet... One pull of the trigger.. All it'd take to end all of this bullshit going on in my head... It scares me how easy it could be.. To think that i could do it, and no one would even expect it... If it weren't for my sister and nephew being here, I'd probably go through with it... I don't want to be alive anymore.. I just want this pain and these feeling to go away... I just want it to end... God, please... Just make it end.. I am too weak.... I have no strength left in me.. Mentally, emotionally, physically... I'm completely drained of everything that makes me who I've always been... How am I supposed tog et through this.. I feel like I am fighting this battle on my own and I don't know how much longer I can do it...