I'm so selfish

I have had a very trying 3 days. I been expose by my sister in law and my whole life has been a lie. I thought everybody was doing this stuff to me and I realize that it was me. I'm the bully, and the asshole,I been using people for use and didn't that I was doing it because I  been so focus on a me. My wrong is right and my right is wrong.
Now i'm thinking back on moment in life and people have been running away from me.  I have bully my wife to a put that I thought I was right. Because she keep and allow stuff to absorb. That I thought was right and I can do this to anybody. People never have to live with me so they don't know. I push people away because I don't want them to get hurt. I never wanted to hurt my wife or anybody.
Now i am starting over. Lord help me to be better. Help me not to be selfish. Show me how to be better.