I'm out of control. Fri Mar 22, 2019

Well, i got out of going out again. With no car and feeling like i am, ikt's so hard to get me to go out, trying to think of a way not to go out tomorrow already. It's my anxiety and my deppresion. On top of everythig i ordered pizza, just what i don't need but had no feed in the house. Was supposed to go with b.f. and i made a laim excuse and we were going to go get my car legal. I am my own worst enemy. Now i feel bad very bad about myself. I have no closthes that fit me any moore. Can't were that old sweat suit, to hot. At least it's nice out and my aunt want's to take me to the thrift store but i know the big close go first so i have a negative outlook not good. I am really in destress for a while. I go to my shrink next week 2 times in one month, ussually once a month. Tried her meditation technik but i can't seem to clear my mind for nothing, the raseing thought's, the sweating the over eating. I have panic attacks about having panic attacks,how messed up is that?OK i guess i got that off my shoulders and took my nitght time meds already. All i wasn to do is sleep     well that's all i can write w/out crying so i'll just goodnight and hope everyone is having a better night and weekend                                                         Hugs