I'm on a Budget
I turn the heat down to 60 degrees at night. I shop at discount stores, buy sale items, clip coupons. I don't shop for clothes. I don't eat out as often as I used to. I'm on a budget. I'm the sole breadwinner now with a comission job.
My father lives it up. His house is 78 degrees. He eats gourmet food. Turns the heat on down in the basement even when he is not there. Spends freely.
And now he wants to spend my retirement money. He's playing mind games with me, making me feel guilty, accusing me of causing his foot problems. He's painting me like the evil daughter--all so he can get the tiny amount of money I really don't have. He doesn't care that even trying to get my retirement money will cause a huge penalty and income tax payments. He just wants the money.
But guess what. I'm back. The old me who had a head on her shoulder and enough intellegence to get around quite well in this world.
So, I've turned him over to God. What happens to him is in God's hands. I'm done with trying to save him because no matter how much money I give him. How far in debt I go(and I'm in deep)because of it. And how much I tell him to stop doing destructive things to himself. No matter what I say he refuses to listen. And does his own thing anyhow.
Ces't la vie.
My father lives it up. His house is 78 degrees. He eats gourmet food. Turns the heat on down in the basement even when he is not there. Spends freely.
And now he wants to spend my retirement money. He's playing mind games with me, making me feel guilty, accusing me of causing his foot problems. He's painting me like the evil daughter--all so he can get the tiny amount of money I really don't have. He doesn't care that even trying to get my retirement money will cause a huge penalty and income tax payments. He just wants the money.
But guess what. I'm back. The old me who had a head on her shoulder and enough intellegence to get around quite well in this world.
So, I've turned him over to God. What happens to him is in God's hands. I'm done with trying to save him because no matter how much money I give him. How far in debt I go(and I'm in deep)because of it. And how much I tell him to stop doing destructive things to himself. No matter what I say he refuses to listen. And does his own thing anyhow.
Ces't la vie.
Replies
You didn\'t mention how your father wants to get your money? Does he ask you to borrow all the time?
I am sorry you are having to deal with this. But, make sure you have your retirement money to take care of you in the future.
God is the best one for all and any of our problems. He is so faithful and so amazing!!
I hope He helps you with your situation with your father.
Hugs, Linda
You dad has his own mind set. If he wants something, there is no stopping him no matter what the consequences.
Look after yourself and keep what retirement money you have to yourself and not your dad. You are the only one looking after yourself, the sole breadwinner and self supporter. I am in the same shoes. There is no one supporting me either. I have an older brother always trying to borrow money. He has less money than I am, is unemployed and has Asperger\'s Syndrome. He is on disability $890 but that is not enough money to live on these days. I am on the Canadian CPP Survivors Pension $507.66 but it is not enough money to live on. I told him I sold the car and now his hand is out once again.
You deal with your dad the best way you can but put yourself first.
I have do deal with my older brother the best way I can but have to put myself first as well.
It is not easy putting ourselves first when women were trained early on to put everyone else first but not ourselves.
We are in God\'s hands. There is God\'s reason why all these things have happened to us with the loss of our husbands, you dealing with your dad, me dealing with my older brother and having to learn to be the sole breadwinner & self supporter. These things are not easy. It\'s the burden we have to carry.
God is amazing. It\'s a natural reaction to ask \"why me?\" We don\'t always understand why God allows us to go through these circumstances or situations. I believe there is a divine purpose, plan, way and God\'s will in our lives. I haven\'t figured it out, have you?
All the best from Diane Baillie
Tru,,,I must say that you have such patience when it comes to your father. I am glad you are his daughter and no me, I would have lost it a long time ago.
Sorry you are being faced with these reoccuring issues with him.
Lin
You come first. No one but you is looking out for your best interests. I know its hard to say no, but its time. I wish you luck with your decision, and stick to your guns, your father put himself in this position, he\'s an adult, he can figure his way out. Stay strong and remember your number 1. Hugs Jane
This all sounds familiar, I have a mother in a nursing home and a disabled brother living in her house. I really don\'t understand why they think I must pay all of their living expenses with not even a thank you on the occasions I do. I certainly understand the guilt trip it\'s put on me all the time also, but the fact is your father should be proud he has a daughter that is self sufficient after all you have been through.
Glad you are getting back to the new old you and pray you find peace.
Hugs,
Ron
I\'m living off retirement money too. You do have to be on a budget and very careful with your money. Thank God I don\'t have anyone hounding me for money. Be strong. If you don\'t stand up for yourself, no one else will.
Good for you! ;)