I'm just okay
I'm not sure about everyone else in this world, but it is easier to give advice than to accept it.
My best friend cousin died and it made me think of my favorite cousin that recently died. I am a little sad... moving on. I have noticed lately that my BF is snooty, weak( in a way, I cant think of another word), and thinks to much about what ppl think & say about her. I never realized that b4, I think her mother was this way, always trying to impress others. I feel that this must be a real hard life to live. I thought I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I guess not. "the grass.....
I gave her some advice that I thought was helpful and I KNOW that she will let it roll off her back but not the way her brother talks and treats her. I dnt understand this way of thinking. Am I happy being alone and true to myself? Or is she happy satisfying others and lying to herself? Often time I compare my life to hers (ALOT) and I see now that being LONELY and true to my realness is more important than caring about the embarrassment of another adult. I seem to understand her own brother more than she does. Is my BF petty? and self absorb? These are charactertics that she did not display early. Is our personalities constantly changing as we mature? What is my true being or personality?
Next I am meeting a few dudes on a dating website, I am not sure if put this in here. Anyway, most of them are out of shape. Idk, I think I'm prejudice against over weight ppl. I'm not sure why. My mother was overweight most of her life and I loved her. ( the therapist in me thinks, bc she died due to fat ppl problems and lead an predominantly unhealthy lifestyle, I do not give lee way to this type of living) She probably still would be here. Off the subject, I like their personalities, expect one and I want to pursue the possibilities, but my mind will not allow me to get over the weight.
I wanted to mark today as an okay face bc I am just okay. I feel good some moments and then others I feel like crap or I'm overly stressed. Idk, how ppl deal with ALL of this ALL the time.
Also I am not sure if I mentioned my B-day party that my Aunt G, is throwing me. It will be a dry party, whatever. I'm over it.
Gn
My best friend cousin died and it made me think of my favorite cousin that recently died. I am a little sad... moving on. I have noticed lately that my BF is snooty, weak( in a way, I cant think of another word), and thinks to much about what ppl think & say about her. I never realized that b4, I think her mother was this way, always trying to impress others. I feel that this must be a real hard life to live. I thought I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I guess not. "the grass.....
I gave her some advice that I thought was helpful and I KNOW that she will let it roll off her back but not the way her brother talks and treats her. I dnt understand this way of thinking. Am I happy being alone and true to myself? Or is she happy satisfying others and lying to herself? Often time I compare my life to hers (ALOT) and I see now that being LONELY and true to my realness is more important than caring about the embarrassment of another adult. I seem to understand her own brother more than she does. Is my BF petty? and self absorb? These are charactertics that she did not display early. Is our personalities constantly changing as we mature? What is my true being or personality?
Next I am meeting a few dudes on a dating website, I am not sure if put this in here. Anyway, most of them are out of shape. Idk, I think I'm prejudice against over weight ppl. I'm not sure why. My mother was overweight most of her life and I loved her. ( the therapist in me thinks, bc she died due to fat ppl problems and lead an predominantly unhealthy lifestyle, I do not give lee way to this type of living) She probably still would be here. Off the subject, I like their personalities, expect one and I want to pursue the possibilities, but my mind will not allow me to get over the weight.
I wanted to mark today as an okay face bc I am just okay. I feel good some moments and then others I feel like crap or I'm overly stressed. Idk, how ppl deal with ALL of this ALL the time.
Also I am not sure if I mentioned my B-day party that my Aunt G, is throwing me. It will be a dry party, whatever. I'm over it.
Gn
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