I'm just not sure anymore

Everyday is a struggle for me. I don't want to be around my friends anymore. They know what I'm going through, crying every night, literally crying myself to sleep when I do sleep. They try to help but I just push them away. I put on this mask that covers who I really am. With college coming up and me leaving, I just don't know how well I'm going to do. I guess I'm just here to be miserable and drag down everyone I care about with me.