I'm feeling frustrated about...

This is part meandering and part vent.  I was talking to one of my trainers about my myriad of issues and she suggested I try journaling the thoughts.  Most of those are going to be for my eyes only and won't be posted here.  But I thought I'd leave some of the worst ones here too so I at least have something back to refer to (I'll probably end up printing this later).
I'm feeling frustrated about...
...wanting to feel better, but not finding any answers.  Pretty much the only place I feel comfortable talking is here, but there is so much that still isn't ready to come out.  Trust issues are still taking over everywhere else.
...having only two ways to vent: panic episodes or becoming a dirty mean pain in the (expletive deleted) for a day or sometimes two.
...the consistent sleep problems because the issues run so deep.  It's been better, but my breakpoint is 4am these days, which usually leaves me two hours short of the amount of sleep I feel I need.
...uncertainty.  Any kind of it.  My class wraps up next week, and the fall semester starts imnmediately after the US Labor Day holiday.  In between I'll be working on pharmacy technician certification training.  But it feels like I'm not leaving any time for me (segueway).
...that I'm still haunted by the time I got addicted to puzzles.  I haven't been able to establish a hobby safely or go back to said puzzles since.  It's been 4, maybe 5 years since that incident now, and I'm still basically throwing my free time away.