I'm Bummed...

For every up there's a down I guess.   I saw my "friend" today walking downtown with her new boyfriend and their three kids looking happy as a lark.  This is a person who I thought would be a great friend but has exhibited some not so great behavior in the past month or so that now I'm now questioning because she seems to be a bit competitive, unreliable and selfish. I'm happy that I have seen these signs early on and am now pulling back a bit myself to see if I am right about her before I commit more to this friendship but now I just feel bummed. I'm jealous that herlife seems to be working out perfectly well and mine is definitely a challenge and sometimes a downright struggle.  I'm happy with the direction I am taking and I feel like I'm successful in many ways but not having the "tangibles", lots of money, a beautiful house, doting boyfriend, to name a few, I feel like I'm below her or something.  Well it doesn't take a genius to figure out I really don't feel that great about myself a lot of the time. I hate when I get insecure and jealous, it feels like I'm letting MYSELFdown.  To top that off I'm also resentful because I think that bad behavior should have bad consequences but it rarely seems so in this world.  Everyone who has hurt me has seemed to walk off scott free.  It's not like I want other people to suffer or anything just have some sort of consequence for their behavior.  It's like they have gotten away with something and there's nothing I can do about it. These two areas are where I struggle with the most:(