I'm about to get personal please if you have weak tummys dont read

I have a slight bacterial infection that grew from a yeast infection from my high blood sugar levels I am taking care of it now, I am waiting for my hemogloben a1c or whatever its called. I know its gotta be ok I been taking my insulin. But you see this yeast infection I had, caused another infection called a bacterial infection in my vaginal canal, ew I know tmi but I cant get an answer from my doctors the pharmacists who are so medically savy to me, and educated medically on what I am on, so I even asked a lady there I trust. The problem is I am spotting, and I am clockwork with my periods since i had my tubes burnt and tied at age 19 deciding if I am gonna be mentally Ill I hav etolearn how to care for myself and I got it done at age 19 I do not regrret it i cannot give life to a baby who could be effected my my arorabobia, major depression, and adhd, I am also being treated for the bacterial infection my gel and cephalexin, and while in ac I bleed for two days, and I'm still spottin a bit. The problem is I do not have major mood swings, I am either ok happy or sad. I mean what else is there, lately though i was so mean to my friend, but he did get drunk and kept showin me the door It was suppose to be a three day extravaganza in atlantic city that left me leaving the warm room in only a hoodie and a pair of shorts sunday early morning four thirty almost five maybe. I went to the local diets n watson to grab smokes, and walk to the convention center bastard kept saying eleven times theres the door I paid about five hundred for all this so can I pay you to leave? THe jitney goes by ever eleven minutes, go to the convention center. I was so cold, miserable had no pad no money but i had smokes. HEs been trying to buy me for months and I refuse to run away from my lovely living situatiion where I am happiest alone, I can now do a lot I overcame so much but this mood swing thing is really bothering me. I had no real reason to snap other than I was sick of seeing him drink two bottles and I mean the BIG bottles of wiskey a case of beer absenthe and marajuania. He also got a hired girl for me, and I was so turned off all I did was touch her legs and give her a massage a hundred bucks she goes no not inside, cause when I felt in it,  ok I know im getting really personal I would NOT go down on that, it has two what are they called bumps that were close together enough to have a gap between them and if i got in there further i think there were more, I have no stds, and didnt want to lick her, so I  said well can u just go then, have a nice night. Damn that,s why you pay them to leave, Well I am not a hoar, and he can't buy me.gives me a hard time abotu where I live, i could live so many nicer places, and cheaper no I like it here just fine and i love the train going by waking me when I dont wake up in panic sweat wanting to protect my sister.  I am not for sale I am happier without him,.  Hes the one who needs me to get him sober, I do not drink I am on spyc meds. In full blown recovery responsible for my own mental health care I see a psyciatrist, and have many new friends. I am happy but confused and need help with these recent health issues any one got any guesses?I am on paxil rittilin and vallium which I am very careful with. I wake up 3 am every night since a kid we had a break int hat I heard and I remember it verbadum at two am being woken by my moms voice saying DON THERES A MAN IN THE HOUSE< i saw my daddy running into my sisters room to catch the guy trying to spank my sisters but lightly but my father well lets just say I heard a lot of things busting up trying to comfort susan and I in my bedroom she brought out coloring books, and at two I coudln't understand what was happenning I reperessed it for many years, but since my mental health recovery my memory is fully restored I remember conversations from when I was eleven years old maybe I have a photogenetic brain able to memorize  I was two my sister was four, I never told her, and she does not know.As far as I am concerned I wil never tell her.  Anyhow my problem is is my mood swings diabetec related i know i been hitting the energy drinsk and not eating as much as i should I last ate about twenty hrs ago. Sat night maybe. Passed out, the prob is when he drinks he hits me up for my meds and he knows I am careful with them I only carry with me what I need for those days and thats it. I don't even smoke grass anymore god I need a joint. I enver take more and i do not abuse them IS it the infection in my body causing my follicilitious to lfair up too I have this problem with my skin sometimes only when I get my monthly I break out in hard boils sometimes the size of golf balls, seriously huge . Id show you one, but it happens to have broken out in the middle of my tits!! sure that I didnt get this from anyone I got bit by a skeeter nasty disease carrying things, and whenever nature calls which she diid twice in two weeks I had one period for a week and then two days later I am spotting and freaking because I am regular as responsible for my mental health recovery first as always but is follicilitous breaking out so bad from this infection or is it early menopause,l GOd I hope it is Im 44 its not impossible right? I knoww go to my doc, I did still waiting on blood work and I have a bad cold I am really run down and coudl use some advice, This is all I know I went to the disease of unounknown origion twice as a baby adn once as an adult to make sure they coyudl find nothing. Then why every time I get blood work it shows my white and red cells are going bonkers? YEs I have had every std test done, as a child I was permisquious. SO can anyone shed any light to whats happenning to my crazy entire body and soul?WIll someone od this math I began recovering at Ancora Psychiatric Hospital meeting the best councler I ever came across wich began my full recovery in mental health when I walked out the door a few months later on valentines day. He wrote me a letter, I'd love to share some if it. How fitting it seems that you are leaving us on the sweetest day of the year, valentines day. All of yoru hard work you out in here paid off and today you step out hopefully forever. Live your life to it's fullest, and be happy dear, knowing you are part of a loving family who wants nothing more than to care for you. I pray everday you will stay in recovery you have three months free of cutting, and how fitting that you came a child yet, just turning 18 so afraid you were going to bebeaten again, and I gained yoru trust over time i worked hard for you, and I hope you work just as hard at your new program, and breathe, remember our talks, breath again and remember where you come from. I walked out three months after I turned 18 at the very begin if my cutting recovery. I stoped as soon as I got there, they threatened me if I did I would never see my family again. I workd hard everday because I realized if I didn't get well, and get well as fast as I could I would never see the sun again so In creating a ca ribbon when I begin cutters annonamous I want to make it yellow for the sun I seldom saw when I didn't have the freedom to go outside when I want, to be free to go anywhere I want, buy anything I want, I was happy when released there was  a light snow on the ground as they opened the doors for the final time to let me, out. Packed already the night before I waited only moments for my father, after being given my last dose of medicine, before taking responsiblity  for myself can someone do the math for me? I am 44 i was born in 1972 began cutting at ten, stoped at 18 the day after my birthday the meeting with the doctors were scary. They said they would lock me in a room in a straight jacket forever with nothing to do but stare. Id make up wonderful stories in my head, and rememering them when not druged I'd learned to cheeck the meds that didn't work untill I was sure noone knew. then I took full respobnsibility in finding all the help I needed I am now 44 and have had one relapse but the doc said not to cunt it when your mom tells you to swallow all your pills at once, and then lay in the tub and cut myself yeah she can be abusive, but now changed, and on medicine both parents got help for their own issues now in their 70;s as long as I don't use drugs, or keep my place messy I am a number one. Celebut untill I was with my friend n and you all know how that went, we had sex for the first time to completion on both parts for the first time in over two years he couldn't get it up from the whiskey course he blamed the psyc meds he just stoped taking. I must walk away from him take my leave,  let him go to florida and run away from the jersey cold I am happy alone celebut here, living my life of freedom from programs, and fears, free of cutting now how long someone count, please I'd liek ot talk the talk i dunno math to save my life. But I am writing the next new york best seller. I outgrew mental health phacilities and counclers, I work on my issues with my sponsor still working both of us cutting free almost the same time I need to know the math I quit three months after turning 18 and becoming a ward of ancora psyc yes the scariest hospital but it made me who I am I never once went back for nothing. I don't look back acept to praise my acoomplishments and to finish this book I need to finish its called TO protect the guilty I am Heidi Scheirer and I use fake names on the net,l but here I feel safe. Help me in many ways please....I need answers