I'm a cold bastard

It appears that the financial plans I had been looking into are not going to take place and my parents are going to have to pay entirely for their care until their money and property are gone. No inheritance for me unless they both die within a few years at most. I feel bad that I feel this way but I still hope to inherit and so not be left out in the cold with nothing to help take care of me in the future. But it is their property, they worked to buy and maintain it and it is theirs to help them in their final years.
I need to find work or I'm going to have to start looking for some welfare to live once my parents have used up all their money. I know it sounds selfish and uncaring and much like my brother to wnat what my parents have earned. I feel a bit bitter that my brother has had 15 years of them taking care of him and I may only get a couple and then nothing more to help me.
I dont want my parents to die before their time but it would help out all of us if they would have their time come sooner than later. My mother even says that she hopes that she dies soon as well because she is in pain and unhappy and worried all the time now. And as for my father, he may live along time still but be losing more of him self with time, forgetting what he was and is and have nothing worth living for after a while.
I'm a cold bastard, I know it. But I don't fear death only how one dies. I'd rather see my parents dead than in pain or lost like they are. My mother is on the verge of giving up even tho there is still a chance she could get stronger and walk again. But she is blind and afraid and in pain and doesn't want to get better.
I will have to deal with all of this as time passes having everyone else wanting or needing or pulling me in some way or another or just worrying about them and being sad about it.
I want it to end and have my life back unburdened with the problems or all the others. But I can't give up doing the finances or my brother gets them and that would be worse. I'm not sure if I can get a job but even if I do and can pay my bills I would still have to deal with all of this and can't just step away like I had before.
I'm trapped until my parents pass away and we get whatever is left. I'm not sure how long I can do it before I break.