I LOVE My Nephew, But I'm Getting Frusterated! LONG
I love my nephew. I really, really do. He spends 45-60 hours a week with me. I feed him his meals, I take him on outings and Auntie/nephew dates, I play with him and I snuggle with him. Basically when he is here he is like another child to me. He and Marlow get treated the same.
That being said, he really gets to me sometimes. I have no idea if he is special needs or not, and no one will find out until he goes to school since my sister refuses to have him tested. He is smart. He knows his colours, he can count to 8, he finally almost caught up to Marlow in speech. He's only three months older then she is, he turns 4 in May.
But he doesn't know his ABC's, he has a crazy short attention span (and I know that's normal for boys but his is shorter then the other boys in my dayhome), and he asks alot of silly questions.
Here are some specific instances where I find myself getting short with him, then I feel bad because I have no idea what's going on in his brain, and I can't expect him to understand everything like Marlow does.
1. We had a regular height kitchen table before our pub height one. There was a green water bottle on top of the table and nothing else. He was in the kitchen and I asked him to grab me the GREEN water bottle ON the KITCHEN TABLE. Well, after asking me to repeat it several times he walks down the hall and looks into the dog kennel. So I repeat it again. He goes back into the kitchen, gets on his hands and knees and looks under the chairs. I repeat it again, get up, and directly point to what I meant, and he STILL doesn't get it. He will walk over to the play kitchen in the dining area and look in the tiny fridge. And this happens every time I ask him to grab me something or tell him where a toy he's looking for is.
2. The lying. The thing with this is I don't know if he's actually lying on purpose or not. I will ask him something like 'did you swallow the pork chop in your mouth?' and he will say yes, so I will check and it's still in there (he has SERIOUS eating issues) so I will remind him fibbing is bad and tell him to swallow it. I will ask again and he will say yes again and it will still be in there. If I ask him if Marlow's room is clean after they have been playing in it he says yes but Marlow will say no and when I go in it's not clean at all. I will ask him if he broke a toy and he will say no but after Marlow says it was him and I talk to him some more he will admit he threw the toy and it broke but it wasn't him who broke it. I don't know if he doesn't understand what I'm saying so he agrees or if he is actually lying. Marlow knows what a lie is and she knows the punishments for it so she rarely lies yet. But I feel bad punishing Julian because I don't know if he even knows he's lying!!
3. Ive come to dread when he goes to the washroom. He will loudly and repeatedly with no breaks say he has to go to the washroom he has to go to the washroom he has to go to the washroom until I acknowledge him and say 'then go!'. Then when he is done he will stand in the washroom and yell I'mdoneI'mdoneI'mdoneI'mdone until once again I acknowledge him and tell him he can come out. I've told him numerous times that he doesn't need to ask to go to nor leave the washroom. I was down switching laundry once and he peed on the floor because I wasn't there to tell him to go! Plus, he refuses to wipe his own bum. He won't even try! And he's been potty trained for almost a year.
4. Food. This is getting better. His mom and I talked and agreed since I have him for 1-3 meals, 5 times a week that she would give me free reign to get a better grip on his eating habits. He used to literally scream at the sight of a carrot. But over the months I have gotten him to try, and then eat all of, numerous things. But it takes two to three hours at times....or else if he has reached his time limit then he goes hungry. He will try something new, like lets take when he tried a pickle for instance, and he will gag and retch and choke through the tiniest of bites, twice he has made himself vomit on my kitchen table. He will sob and pitch fits and argue with me. He didn't like the pickle in the end, but there are other things, like strawberries, that he's done that for then decided he likes them.
5. Hurting himself. He does things like runs face first into brick walls ON PURPOSE! He chokes himself and thinks its hysterical. He bangs his head on my metal railings on my banister until he bruises. He will bunch himself or throw himself violently on the ground and giggle. He will cover his ears, scream, and launch himself head first into walls or fences.
I love that little bugger, and it pains me to see all the things he does that just arent usual. He's one of the happiest kids I know. He's just now starting to get a bit of sass in him. But I get fed up and then I feel bad. I get fed up with Marlow at times too.....but I'm 99% sure she's okay so when I punish her for fibbing, or saying a bad word, or I tell her that hitting anyone, including herself is bad, I KNOW she gets it. But I worry he doesn't understand and that will make him hate me in the end.
That being said, he really gets to me sometimes. I have no idea if he is special needs or not, and no one will find out until he goes to school since my sister refuses to have him tested. He is smart. He knows his colours, he can count to 8, he finally almost caught up to Marlow in speech. He's only three months older then she is, he turns 4 in May.
But he doesn't know his ABC's, he has a crazy short attention span (and I know that's normal for boys but his is shorter then the other boys in my dayhome), and he asks alot of silly questions.
Here are some specific instances where I find myself getting short with him, then I feel bad because I have no idea what's going on in his brain, and I can't expect him to understand everything like Marlow does.
1. We had a regular height kitchen table before our pub height one. There was a green water bottle on top of the table and nothing else. He was in the kitchen and I asked him to grab me the GREEN water bottle ON the KITCHEN TABLE. Well, after asking me to repeat it several times he walks down the hall and looks into the dog kennel. So I repeat it again. He goes back into the kitchen, gets on his hands and knees and looks under the chairs. I repeat it again, get up, and directly point to what I meant, and he STILL doesn't get it. He will walk over to the play kitchen in the dining area and look in the tiny fridge. And this happens every time I ask him to grab me something or tell him where a toy he's looking for is.
2. The lying. The thing with this is I don't know if he's actually lying on purpose or not. I will ask him something like 'did you swallow the pork chop in your mouth?' and he will say yes, so I will check and it's still in there (he has SERIOUS eating issues) so I will remind him fibbing is bad and tell him to swallow it. I will ask again and he will say yes again and it will still be in there. If I ask him if Marlow's room is clean after they have been playing in it he says yes but Marlow will say no and when I go in it's not clean at all. I will ask him if he broke a toy and he will say no but after Marlow says it was him and I talk to him some more he will admit he threw the toy and it broke but it wasn't him who broke it. I don't know if he doesn't understand what I'm saying so he agrees or if he is actually lying. Marlow knows what a lie is and she knows the punishments for it so she rarely lies yet. But I feel bad punishing Julian because I don't know if he even knows he's lying!!
3. Ive come to dread when he goes to the washroom. He will loudly and repeatedly with no breaks say he has to go to the washroom he has to go to the washroom he has to go to the washroom until I acknowledge him and say 'then go!'. Then when he is done he will stand in the washroom and yell I'mdoneI'mdoneI'mdoneI'mdone until once again I acknowledge him and tell him he can come out. I've told him numerous times that he doesn't need to ask to go to nor leave the washroom. I was down switching laundry once and he peed on the floor because I wasn't there to tell him to go! Plus, he refuses to wipe his own bum. He won't even try! And he's been potty trained for almost a year.
4. Food. This is getting better. His mom and I talked and agreed since I have him for 1-3 meals, 5 times a week that she would give me free reign to get a better grip on his eating habits. He used to literally scream at the sight of a carrot. But over the months I have gotten him to try, and then eat all of, numerous things. But it takes two to three hours at times....or else if he has reached his time limit then he goes hungry. He will try something new, like lets take when he tried a pickle for instance, and he will gag and retch and choke through the tiniest of bites, twice he has made himself vomit on my kitchen table. He will sob and pitch fits and argue with me. He didn't like the pickle in the end, but there are other things, like strawberries, that he's done that for then decided he likes them.
5. Hurting himself. He does things like runs face first into brick walls ON PURPOSE! He chokes himself and thinks its hysterical. He bangs his head on my metal railings on my banister until he bruises. He will bunch himself or throw himself violently on the ground and giggle. He will cover his ears, scream, and launch himself head first into walls or fences.
I love that little bugger, and it pains me to see all the things he does that just arent usual. He's one of the happiest kids I know. He's just now starting to get a bit of sass in him. But I get fed up and then I feel bad. I get fed up with Marlow at times too.....but I'm 99% sure she's okay so when I punish her for fibbing, or saying a bad word, or I tell her that hitting anyone, including herself is bad, I KNOW she gets it. But I worry he doesn't understand and that will make him hate me in the end.
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