I lost my husband and its all the little things he did that I miss

I lost my husband and its all the little things he did that I miss so much.  He loved to order through Publishers.  He knew what I loved.  If he thought I would like something, he would order it for me and surprise me.  You can't replace the person you lost that is for sure.  They are unreplaceable.  He died so suddenly.  I am still in shock.  I wonder when you go from shock to anger.  Tomorrow I have to pick up the urn/ashes and Death Certificates with my friend.  It is going to be extremely hard that is for sure.  I think that is the final thing that hits you hard that the person you loved so much is gone.  I am glad my friend is going to be there for me.  She waited a long time before she got her mothers ashes as it was just too painful.  I am starting to realize what she meant.  I am not looking forward to it but I know I have to pick it all up. Mourning my belated husband who was gone too soon