I'll try sobriety for a change
I've experienced a terrible depression over the past few years. I'm not sure what caused the depression but I thank God that I'm finally getting better. I decided to quit drinking as a new years resolution. This weekend is the first one that I have not become totally plastered on alcohol in three years.
My depression revolves around the loss of a relationship that I was emotionally attached to but I think there are underlying issues that are the true root cause of my depression. That's not really what I want to talk about today though. Back in 2009 I decided to quit drinking. I actually didn't drink any alcohol for the entire year. In 2009 I was in the depths of my depression and I hoped that i when I quit drinking it would solve my problem with depression. It did not.
I've been a heavy drinker ever since I was a teen and I'm 52 now. Unfortunately back in 2009 I couldn't enjoy my sobriety because of my depression. I remember I spent one weekend during my year of sobriety with some cousins in a cabin at a lake. I got up early in the morning alone with my chihuahua and went to the beach to watch the sunrise. It was beautiful but I couldn't enjoy it because I felt the pain of depression in my stomach as I was missing the person I was obsessed over. I wondered, "what's the point of giving up alcohol? I'm suffering more now than ever even though I haven't had a drink in months."
This time it's going to be different. My depression is not gone but it is now a small fraction of what it was 3 years ago. I believe I'm going to enjoy my sobriety for a change. It's 9:45 AM right now and I feel great. I'm ready to take on the day. If I stayed up till 3:00 AM last night getting drunk like I usually did, I would have stayed in bed till noon today then getting up with a painful hangover.
I felt a little restless last night and Friday night since I gave up drinking but I realized that I don't crave beer or wine or liquor, I just crave intoxication. I just want to anesthetize myself and escape reality for a while. Since my sadness and depression are not nearly as bad as it was the first time I tried to quit drinking I believe I will be successful this time. Wish me luck!
My depression revolves around the loss of a relationship that I was emotionally attached to but I think there are underlying issues that are the true root cause of my depression. That's not really what I want to talk about today though. Back in 2009 I decided to quit drinking. I actually didn't drink any alcohol for the entire year. In 2009 I was in the depths of my depression and I hoped that i when I quit drinking it would solve my problem with depression. It did not.
I've been a heavy drinker ever since I was a teen and I'm 52 now. Unfortunately back in 2009 I couldn't enjoy my sobriety because of my depression. I remember I spent one weekend during my year of sobriety with some cousins in a cabin at a lake. I got up early in the morning alone with my chihuahua and went to the beach to watch the sunrise. It was beautiful but I couldn't enjoy it because I felt the pain of depression in my stomach as I was missing the person I was obsessed over. I wondered, "what's the point of giving up alcohol? I'm suffering more now than ever even though I haven't had a drink in months."
This time it's going to be different. My depression is not gone but it is now a small fraction of what it was 3 years ago. I believe I'm going to enjoy my sobriety for a change. It's 9:45 AM right now and I feel great. I'm ready to take on the day. If I stayed up till 3:00 AM last night getting drunk like I usually did, I would have stayed in bed till noon today then getting up with a painful hangover.
I felt a little restless last night and Friday night since I gave up drinking but I realized that I don't crave beer or wine or liquor, I just crave intoxication. I just want to anesthetize myself and escape reality for a while. Since my sadness and depression are not nearly as bad as it was the first time I tried to quit drinking I believe I will be successful this time. Wish me luck!
Replies
Best wishes for a complete recovery. I\'m praying for you. God bless you.