I'll be okay... is that what you want me to say?

Well, Firstly... mothers.. who fucking wants them?I know i should feel lucky to have both my parents in my life and have a semi good relationship with them too. but im 18 now and my mother still treats me like a kid. does she realise i can do as i please now but STILL follow her rules? she doesnt want me going to a party with my BF and sleeping in the same bed because she thinks im gunna have sex at someone elses house.. that is gross. i couldnt do it. she doesnt know we sleep in the same bed at his house she thinks i sleep in the spare room.... yep shes naive thank god.im so sick of her harrassment and harsh judgement of me, she honeslty would be better off without me in this world. she should never have even had me to begin with her biggest mistake was welcomed to the world 18 years ago and it hasnt left yet.
2ndly i recently lost a friend, he left behind family, friends and a gf... today this gf posted on his fbJessie: my kids keep asking about you, i keep telling them you're on holidays. come back soon okay? I love you xxxshes a school teacher and this jsut broke my heart... i dont know what to do with myself... cry or cut or drink... im definatly feeling the need to drink... first and least damagingly...
Life fucking sucks...