I just want to cratch a break
My brother comes over again to bet a check for something and then starts dumping a bunch of crap on me. It stresses me out so I start to raise my voice in irritation and so he starts coming down on me for getting upset and starting to yell at him.
I tell him again that I can't help it I have stress problems and he needs to deal with it. And he says that he doesn't have to deal with me yelling at him and I yell at him yes he does. He needs to give me a break, cut me some slack, I am over sensitive and have stress problems. He needs to give me a break.
He kept persisting in arguing with me about it so I said 'Give me a fucking break!" This is, I think, the first time I have ever used that word with him. And he says now your cursing at me and I said, "that is how much you are bugging me that I have cursed at you for the first time because you won't give me a fucking break!"
Still he doesn't stop and continues to argue. so I say, "When I get like this you have to give me a break and just shut up."
At this point he had already left my apartment and this argument was going on down the stairs. I had started to close the door a few times already and he kept yelling something more up at me. With that last statement I closed the door and walked away so I wouldn't hear him if he said anymore. Gratefully he perhaps finally got it and I didn't hear him say anything and he didn't storm back up the stairs to yell at me like he might of had done before.
I dont want my father to die anytime before God wants him to die but I am waiting for when I don't have to have anything to do with my brother anymore and this will only happen once my father is dead and his estate is finalized. I'm sure my brother will still probably bug me or call me when he needs something but then I won't legally be obliged to deal with him if I don't want.
I dint adjust my happiness down because this was only a blip in a long line of these kinds of things and it appears to not have any lasting effects. At least I am able to purge the emotional trauma by writing this.
I tell him again that I can't help it I have stress problems and he needs to deal with it. And he says that he doesn't have to deal with me yelling at him and I yell at him yes he does. He needs to give me a break, cut me some slack, I am over sensitive and have stress problems. He needs to give me a break.
He kept persisting in arguing with me about it so I said 'Give me a fucking break!" This is, I think, the first time I have ever used that word with him. And he says now your cursing at me and I said, "that is how much you are bugging me that I have cursed at you for the first time because you won't give me a fucking break!"
Still he doesn't stop and continues to argue. so I say, "When I get like this you have to give me a break and just shut up."
At this point he had already left my apartment and this argument was going on down the stairs. I had started to close the door a few times already and he kept yelling something more up at me. With that last statement I closed the door and walked away so I wouldn't hear him if he said anymore. Gratefully he perhaps finally got it and I didn't hear him say anything and he didn't storm back up the stairs to yell at me like he might of had done before.
I dont want my father to die anytime before God wants him to die but I am waiting for when I don't have to have anything to do with my brother anymore and this will only happen once my father is dead and his estate is finalized. I'm sure my brother will still probably bug me or call me when he needs something but then I won't legally be obliged to deal with him if I don't want.
I dint adjust my happiness down because this was only a blip in a long line of these kinds of things and it appears to not have any lasting effects. At least I am able to purge the emotional trauma by writing this.
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I was wrong about it not having a lasting effect. I have a tension head ache and a tightness in my chest and I can\'t seem to get his visit out of my mind. I think this is because I am probably going to have to go do some work with him tomorrow. Just thinking bout it stresses me out.
Am so very very sorry about what you are going through. You do need and deserve a break.
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))