I just don't know
Today has been a rollercoaster and its left me just not knowing how to feel or what to feel. It started off so stressful I was absolutley going crazy. 6:35 am my son texts (he knows my alarm is usually set for 6:30) to see if I"m still coming down and could I drop off his stuff on my way TO work not after work. OK I said cause i figured that wasnt' a big deal. My alarm was actually set for 7 so when he texted it woke me and I had a terrible headache. At 7:30 when I was leaving my daughter came down and said the baby needed formula, before the end of the day so I head off for the pharmacy right away... but it didn't open till 8 and I forgot my phone at home so I went back home then back to the pharmacy and was waiting outside the door when it opened at 8. The formula was $7 more than the dept. store where we usually get it but I had no choice if I was to make it to work at all today. So I finally got out of town at 8:20, already destined to be at least 20 minutes late for work. Then I stopped when I got to the city to drop off stuff my son needed... going through the city instead of around slowed me down even more and I was 1/2 hr late for work and stressed unbelievably, I cried on the way to work. I got to work and things were still not in place for us to start working so we sat around for over an hour waiting for other people to do what they need to do so we can start. My head was killing me so I went to the pharmacy across the road for motrin. I checked my blood pressure while I was there and it was 152/95 which is way higher than I've ever seen before. I usually have low blood pressure. That worried me and I couldnt' concentrate on work. Besides I have been trying for two weeks to get my bosses to decide when I can take a week of vacation to go see my daughter in the dominican. I emailed again this morning and still got put off til after lunch... I was flipping pissed off!! I sooooo need a break and something to look forward to. Finally we got working and then it was lunch time.... happens every time. I went to a clinic at lunch and had my bp taken and it was 128 over 95 better but still not normal for me. Back at work it is still sporatic and slow but moving a bit. I got the email from boss and find out I can have the week from Feb. 26 through Mar 5th.... the most expensive week to travel!! Is there nothing good that can happen for me? The packages I've been looking at are $500 more that week than the week after. I'm still going but it will hurt more. Part of me is so happy to be getting a vacation but part of me is so pissed that its that week. its just been a messy day that started and ended with stress. As soon as I got home my sister was here (before me). She brought cheese and lobster pate and I had wine and crackers so we sat and nibbled and drank, then mom came by. Dad is dying, he's not doing well and its never good news. I don't know how much more I can handle..... I just don't know.