I have met the enemy...
I've finally moved my mood back to the green zone. Although I'm on the lower end of "good", good seems to be where I am. I am, at least, as good as I can be considering the longterm sense of futile hopelessness that seems to be a semi-permanent part of my psyke now. My wife is still being my wife. My job is still on the edge of doom. I have recoveered from whatever it was I need recovering from last week and I don't feel quite so nauseous. I'm sleepy and I have a headache. Last night I had a dream that I was Batman and I discovered that I was my own nemesis--that is to say, another part of my personality was set out to destroy / kill me. I woke up thinking, "wow, what a great idea for a book!" Upon further reflection, it makes me wonder what the dream was saying to me. Is there really a part of me that is setting myself up to fail? Looking at my life, and can only say, "Of course, you doof! How much more obvious can it be?" So I have met the enemy, and he is me. So, with this kind of battle, to I declare war against the agressor or try to find ground for understanding. I'm leaning toward the war side, personally. I'm trying to take out an enemy as clever as I am. Something about my primal manhood that wants to defeat those that are trying to make me miserable. So, anyway, I still have battle plans to draw up. Further updates will follow.
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