I have a broken heart

My heart is broken. This is like a nuclear bomb compared to anything I've gone through and I already had so much trauma. Ruby was with me every morning , parts of day and every night. We were always together when I wasn't training or doing errands. I can't believe I will never see her again. I remember in the warm summers Ruby would spend more time outside and she would sleep in random places all chilled out. Thursday night at 2am-3am me and Ruby just stood there in the garden where she is now buried like we were mediating. How were we do know that this was the last night we would ever be together.  I am going to have to try go back to run club etc and function but my body is in shock and I'm hurting and struggling to eat and sleep. I'm trying to be positive and say she's with me but the reality is that Ruby is in the ground. I will never see her again. I feel like I'm in prison all the love and protection has been ripped away. I can't feel Ruby at all. Maybe I am a deep down atheist. This is the biggest fight of my life. Society and people won't accept the gravity of this loss as she's just a pet as they say. I would of not sold Ruby for all the money in the world. To me she was the most precious gift in the world and now she's gone. My heart aches I'm fighting to hold on to life. I feel selfish for saying it because it was my baby who lost her life and is no longer here.