I hate to harp over the bombings in Boston...

...but honestly and truly, they have left their mark.  A bad one.
Logically, I'm over it now.  But logically and emotionally are two different things, and emotionally, I'm nowhere close.  I'd be in a trauma unit right now if I had seen the actual episode firsthand.
Logically, I know that the odds of a repeat episode are comparatively small.  But emotionally, this is probably to stay with me for the rest of my life, just like the smoke bombing in high school has.  This could happen anywhere.  I try but I just can't shake the feeling that nowhere is safe anymore.  Ever, period, that's it man.  It's already manifesting itself (if you want an example, just read about what I did yesterday in the previous journal entry and you'll know where my head is now).
I'm so scared I can't focus on much.  I wish I felt a lot different than this, but when what little feeling of safety you have is shattered, this is what happens.  It's not too far a stretch to muse that I'll probably be living in fear for the rest of my life.  Those of you who know me can sniff out just from this that...it's a very, very bad sign.
Suicidal?  No.  But definitely left with the feeling that my walls are now unbreakable, no matter how many baby steps I take.