I hate this.

I keep venting and rambling on about how much I hate this feeling I have. But, I really do hate this feeling I have. It's really disabling and I feel like I'll never get over it. I feel like people only want me to be better so they seem like a better person. It has nothing to do with how I am or anything. People always leave me for no reason. Maybe they do have something to do or have an emergency. But, it just seems like no one wants to talk or be around me for a while. They come to me when they need help, but whenever I need help they just fuckin push me aside. So, I just curl up and hope that everything would get better soon.