i had enough

my first journal :)
i don't know actually how it is supposed to be written , i just want to write 
i'm 20 yearn now , i've been suffering from trichotillomonia ( pulling hair ) for about 8 years now 
i didn't realize it was an obsessive compulsive disease (OCD) till i went to university
i've shaved my head for the first time when i was 18 and it didn't work
the problem now is getting even bigger 
it's starting to affect my life , especially my study
i'm a 3rd year medical student , this means lots of study and of course stress 
last week i had a respiratory module exam 
literary , it took me about 5 days only to clear 3/4 of my head from hair just by pulling 
it affected my study , and i din't get a good mark ( i used to be one of the top in my class)
i'm just tired , and i want to stop but i can't . 
i told my family about it but the just said stop pulling it (easy to say , hard to be done )
i feel hopeless and i wonder will i ever have a long hair again ;(