I guess karma is real but I really don't care anymore ..
I guess last night my daughter was out and about with her friend and what does she see? Her moms (my dumb ex) boyfriends truck...at HIS exes place. Well my daughter K can't stand the guy as he was her boyfriends dad but treats all his kids like shit. If any of them ever asked him for help his usual response is to stop answering calls/texts. Anyway that's his character problem not mine.
So, upon seeing his truck and him outside with his ex K thought she would give her mom a jingle to see where he was...lol. She said he's at work. K said no he isn't. K filled her in. So as anyone could have predicted since he has 4 kids with 4 different women she's being cheated on. My ex went ballistic and said once she gets a job she's finished with him...haha. Hasn't worked in a year so she's stuck with a cheater...hmmm sounds familiar.
K told me this over breakfast this am (I took her out and she brought this up as she completely hates this guy and thinks her mom is a fool for her decisions..my ex left me and my daughter after 24 years 16 months ago)..I'm surprised how I felt about this. I just kind of chuckled but I don't feel sorry for her, I don't pity her...I just kind of felt well who didn't see that coming?
Anyways I'm doing good, happily single and enjoying life...was this Karma I don't know. But it certainly doesn't sound like the paradise I imagined she was living for so many months. But it's funny because now I just really don't care ...going back is just impossible so I'm just kind of thinking serves her right but it doesn't really change anything.
So, upon seeing his truck and him outside with his ex K thought she would give her mom a jingle to see where he was...lol. She said he's at work. K said no he isn't. K filled her in. So as anyone could have predicted since he has 4 kids with 4 different women she's being cheated on. My ex went ballistic and said once she gets a job she's finished with him...haha. Hasn't worked in a year so she's stuck with a cheater...hmmm sounds familiar.
K told me this over breakfast this am (I took her out and she brought this up as she completely hates this guy and thinks her mom is a fool for her decisions..my ex left me and my daughter after 24 years 16 months ago)..I'm surprised how I felt about this. I just kind of chuckled but I don't feel sorry for her, I don't pity her...I just kind of felt well who didn't see that coming?
Anyways I'm doing good, happily single and enjoying life...was this Karma I don't know. But it certainly doesn't sound like the paradise I imagined she was living for so many months. But it's funny because now I just really don't care ...going back is just impossible so I'm just kind of thinking serves her right but it doesn't really change anything.
Replies
Oh what a tangled web... It sounds like you\'ve really reached my holy grail - detachment. Congratulations. No hate or gloating, but no desire to have her back either. Good for you!
Lost...it\'s weird. I know 8 months ago I may have looked at this as an opportunity for reconciliation...now I just couldn\'t go there again. I just don\'t want to even go there. I\'m happier with my dogs lol. Lot less stress.
Coop, I love your comments because you are further along and doing so much better at \"letting go\" than most of us are. It is great for you to get this kind of validation.
But (and this is petty) I also feel like it may be a bit \"easier\" for you b/c your ex clearly is fairly dysfunctional herself, and clearly chose a complete loser to be with. Whereas I look at my situation and my stbx is a fairly high-functioning doctor with a lot of social ties. I don\'t know who current guy is for sure so I guess I shouldn\'t comment there, but... If it\'s who I think it is, he doesn\'t have much on me in terms of career or anything like that - but he\'s about 10 years younger and it may be more sexual than anything. Which of course completely messes with a man\'s self esteem.
I probably shouldn\'t assume all is roses with her but, well, she did dump me for \"whomever\" after spending considerable time \"rehearsing for her new career in porn\" as you so aptly put it. It\'s hard to come to grips with. I guess what I\'m saying is I wish my stbx was as much of an obvious dipshit as yours is :).
and thats the catch 22 in this.. getting to that point of \'I dont care\'.. and \'I dont want her/him back\' BEFORE the shit hits the fan on their side.. I\'m sooo glad this didn\'t go down 8 months ago.. for your benefit Coop :)
I keep hoping shit will hit the fan in my ex\'s relationship.. but honestly I dont think it would make me feel better.. as much as I used to think it would.. I\'m glad he\'s \'happy\' and leaving me alone to heal and move forward.. I know his day is coming.. and my wish is to be in your shoes.. happily sitting back with a beer.. and saying \'huh.. yeah, that sucks.. so did anyone catch the game lastnight??\'.. lol
I\'m glad you have such a great relationship with your daughter.. it sounds like you may be her rock for a while until your ex gets her shit together.. if ever.. good things happen to those who wait.. and you\'ve done your time Coop, enjoy the moment :)
Stepping yeah my ex left me for someone quite a bit younger than myself. I just turned 50, she\'s 47 and he is not quite 40 I believe. I\'m sure it was pretty much sexual also..and while I commend your ex on her admirable career, after 16 months of reading books, websites, blogs, articles etc etc...cheaters come in all career fields and incomes. I\'m just not sure that matters much? Heartbreak is heartbreak and I was destroyed for many months before I\'ve reached my current state. While she did have a pretty good job for 17 years at a local college, they phased her out not long after she bailed out of the house and I kind of suspect they got tired of the new \"her\", almost like she was forced out..but again this is her ordeal not mine...take care and thanks!
Mynewnormal thanks...I wouldn\'t have believed I would really reach this level of not giving a crap what happens to her but time apart has helped Immensely ..I\'m sure everyone gets there eventually! Take care!
Thanks for your reply coop, you are completely correct about cheaters and, in general, people who lack integrity - they exist in all facets of society. Sorry for making light of your pain and experience. Regardless of their careers or the new people the cheaters have chosen to be with, one thing they will ALWAYS have to live with is.. themselves.
Karma... sure why not! Man, it\'s great that even with this happening you are still so free and liberated, that is evidence of a lot of recovery. Your boundaries sound good to, it\'s other people\'s actions and responsibility. Keep focusing on you.
Nice work....you seem so content with it all. I am looking forward to getting to that place. I hope I can do it in a similar time frame. You give me hope.
I have to admit to being jealous Coop. First I\'m envious that you got to see your wife get her just desserts. I\'d pay cold hard cash to see me ex get his comeuppance. I\'m also envious that you\'ve come so far that you don\'t care. I hope to get to that place one day. Right now I\'d still like to push him into oncoming traffic. ;-)
Missy your comment made me laugh out loud!! I too would pay cold hard cash to see my stbx get what she deserves. Love the term comeuppance! It reminds me of a Simpsons episode, but the details are lost in the ether. Could google it but I\'m lazy :).
Oncoming traffic, hmm. I live in a suburban town. Would probably be hard to arrange.. I\'ll relegate that to dreams for now ;).
Haha you guys always crack me up! Thanks for the laughs! Believe it or not we are all moving forward :)
Just catching up with everyone-so sorry for your kids but so glad they have you. I\'m very much in the idgaf state with my ex. Divorce is almost final, haven\'t spoken in months, by all accounts he\'s miserable and sleeps all day and the ow may or may not be in his life-she\'s also a major \'ho so I know that anything with her will be on and off at best. I feel relieved. Grateful. Knowing I will be ok-I am ok. Anyway-so happy for your happiness!
You\'ve gotten to a good place. I had a friend who has been divorced for years tell me you know you\'ve mostly healed when you just don\'t care what is happening to them. Good or bad. My goal is to get there some day but my divorce won\'t be final for another month. Then the real healing will begin. It\'s encouraging to see someone that was in my place 16 months ago is in a good place.