I got schooled today

Yesterday I was having a bad day (is there any other)...but I found a video on facebook that made me giggle and I shared it. You all know, we don't get to laugh a lot...I wanted to share and I still want to say I do think it's funny, but... okay, it was a newsclip about a 911 call from a police officer. He had confiscated marijuana, taken it home and baked it brownies. Well, at some point he called 911 to report that he believed he and his wife had overdosed on marijuana and he thought they might be dead because time was going by reallllyyy slow. Okay, even the newsreporter couldn't get thru it with a straight face. It made me laugh, I hit share.
Well a woman I don't know but I assume is on one of the facebook grief pages I am on, came on and commented something like, "That's not funny Gina, some of us have children that died of overdoses." Well, I got mad for many reasons...no one has ever OD'd on marijuana, I didn't like it being compared to such a sensitive topic. Several people came on...it got out of hand and I finally deleted the whole thing.
I need to explain something about myself. Besides having an intense love for animals and people I felt were under-dogs or mistreated...I hadn't really thought much about the world at large as a child...When I was 12 years old I was watching the Democratic National Convention. Mario Cuomo gave a speech...I hung on every word...felt the most intense emotions I had ever felt. At that tender young age I knew what sounded right for me. It was all about love and compassion, helping the needy, not judging ( just like Jesus). Now I live in the deep south, the Florida Panhandle...Need I say how outnumbered I am??? There are a few of us, not many...when I hear the words "Conservative Christian Values" I recoil...what I hear is...the majority pushing their beliefs on others, cutting out programs that help the needy, basically discriminating against anyone that goes against the norm, and let me tell you sisters, despite the way I look or my life looks, I have ALWAYS gone against the norm and always rooted for the underdog. I always stood up for what I believed in even if I was standing alone.
I have changed a lot in the last couple of years, mostly since I lost Cassi...I realized I don't have to fight everyone who doesn't believe in the things I believe in...after all, I preached acceptance, right??? And it goes both ways...I have learned to respect others, even be friends with others that are as different as night and day. A co-worker I worked with (Tea Party) and I became such good friends, I asked him to be a pall bearer at Cassi's funeral. His response??? "It would be an honor". A few weeks later he sent me a message on facebook... He felt I was destined for great things...to stick to my idealism about how the world should be. He said he had sworn to never vote for a democrat...but we are going to be needing a new governor soon, and I had his vote. No way, but...the intention behind his words...was balm to my soul. There are mostly "rednecks" here in my hometown...but they tolerate me. They see my heart, and I keep my eyes on the goodness I see in them...that's in everyone. I make an effort to understand them, to cut thru the anger, the pain.
So anyway, about the facebook post...today I saw a picture on facebook making light of cutting. It showed an arm with cuts...very familiar and very painful for me to see, especially since it was making a very crude joke about it. I wondered if that was what the other mother was feeling yesterday about the video I posted...if so, I am so sorry, and I am so sorry I bickered with her. That's not who I am anymore. I used to be a fierce fighter, going for the jugular of anyone who offended me...that's not me anymore, I just fell back into old habits and forgot for a moment that I must try every day to live my highest self and make a concerted effort to see the highest self in the other person. If we have differences we need to talk, not attack...be curious about how they came to see the world as they do, try to understand...and if the moment is right tell them in my most loving voice how I feel and why. Even if we still disagree...we are all in this together and I don't mean just our country, I mean all of humankind...we are all children of God, whatever you want to call Him...or Her...our Creator, pure love. I read a quote, something like, "You can't fight darkness with darkness, only with light". Love and Light...we all have it in us, each and every one of us...
and...I still want to change the world.