i gave suicide a tried and failed

I took 25 20mg Valium. I tried to go to sleep and not wake up. This was a Sunday night. I called my mom spent the night in the emergency room. My brother told my dad which done nothing. I am concerned that he keeps calling my father when I am in distress. This is not an action for him to to do. There were so many details to what happened that night and the night after. I have much more Valium than what they think. Same goes with Xanax.
I don't know if I will ever need to use then (I want to). I just don't want to be here I am tired and times have come to rest and relax. No more living. I need lo talk more about this later.