I felt the utter hopelessness without my Smokey
I felt the utter hopelessness without my Smokey this afternoon and just poured out my heart felt tears. I can't see life without my Smokey. What's the point? The apartment is like a ghost apartment without my Smokey. I am living in it but it is so very empty without Smokey. It feels so very empty. Smokey's birthday is this Friday on April 30th. It is hitting me hard. I wish I could have died along with Smokey. I don't see the point of continuing on anymore without him. I did my errand in the morning, met my brother for lunch at the DQ, came home and made spaghetti, cried & mourned my loss of Smokey, typing on DS now and Don is coming over for dinner around 5:30 p.m. It is 4:10 p.m. at the moment. Things get screwed up, fixed up and life goes on. Who really cares about anything anymore? I wished I could have died along with Smokey. I would then be at peace. LIfe sucks as I am the one left behind to deal with life, love, pain and the hole damn thing.
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I know how you feel and I am so sorry. I am not looking forward to Mothers day either cause of my mom. I guess we will always have something to remind us of them. Try and stay positve. I know it\'s hard cause I\'m trying too. We have to live till we die so lets try to live the life that your Smokey and my mother would want for us. That\'s what I tell myself when I cry and feel like I can\'t go on. I think my mother is screaming from heaven and saying to me Barbara you have to live and go on. I\'m trying and I\'ll pray for you too!