I fell
I fell off the wagon as they say. Am going through depression and gambling came back easy. Even worse than it was before. At the casino every time I had a dollar and would leave once I had nothing. My life is horrible and I am fighting everyday with this.
I have always thought I’m in control I can walk away. There is no control for me, it’s insane. So I have come back to get on the right path to stop for good.
I need support. My meetings will be sat and Wednesday and here.
Replies
Going back out there never gets better, it only gets worse. That is the nature of this addiction, we pick up right where we left off, rapidly getting worse. I know the feeling of wanting to believe anyone, including myself, can control anything that they set their minds to. But this addiction controls our minds if we continue to gamble. It’s a beast, it’s a monster, it’s an unforgiving addiction. There is no cure. And it sounds so simple to say “just quit”. It’s not simple. It requires change and diligence. I understand how you’re feeling because I could’ve wrote that post many times in my past, I also suffer from depression.
I’m glad you’re back even though I’m sorry you went back out there. I’m also glad you’re going to meetings. Let your desire to quit become stronger than your desire to put yourself through more of this pain again. Depression or not. Whatever or not. We have to live with our depression the same way we have to live with this addiction, one day at a time. Some days are better than others, but any day without gambling is better than one with.
You know I’m here for you if you need to message me.
p.s. please don’t be too hard on yourself
I know the feeling hun ......I'm always there too if you need me ...just message me. I try to find things to do to keep myself motivated ...even though my life isn't the best either. Hang in there .....we are all in the same boat.