I feel so lost and alone.
I feel so lost and alone without Minnie. I never imagined it could hurt this much. I try try try to listen to everybody telling me she's at peace but I can't accept that she's gone and how she left. I should have taken her in Saturday when she was acting so funny and weak. I knew it. I didn't want to take her to the emergency place though. God how I wanted her to pass peacefully Monday morning at her own vets. I shoukdn't have waited. She suffered all day Sunday because of me. Everybody is telling me it's bettter she passed at home but it doesn't matter. I will always think she would have still had a chance had I taken her in earlier. My last words to her were just another 7 hours just hold on another 7 hours and this will be over with. What was I thinking. Oh Minnie please forgive me. I'm so sorry.
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I wish you didn\'t feel guilt over this. I know it\'s hard not to but we just do the best we can at any given moment. I hope you can let yourself oft the hook soon. I\'ve felt tons of guilt over how I should\'ve done this or that for my daddy and guilt over causing him trouble through the years. I guess last week I just decided it wasn\'t doing anybody any good for me to feel guilty and just start doing what I can.
I went through something similar with my cat Dusty who died in 1997. I kept thinking he would rally and could not bare the thought of being without him. He wandered (couldn\'t walk very well) up to my bed and I put him on the bed where he breathed his last. I thought that I didn\'t get to give him a proper farewell but I swear as I laid in bed a couple of days later he rubbed his head against mine as a farewell. It only happened once. I think he knew that I felt so bad that I didn\'t hold him and pet him as he passed. (((Big hug)))