i feel guilty but i dont feel that i should
my stbx does not pay support. he signed an agreement, his job has not started 2 take the money out and in the meantime hes given me nothing for a month and a half. we still have a joint acct. his paycheck is deposited into that acct.
i talked to him about his lack of support and his only response was that he has his own bills and he forgets to pay.
i decided that i shd go into the jnt acct and pay the support.
i felt it was a moral dilemma but not a legal one.
he sd that he wld pay it. he says that every wk and then pays nothing.
i decided that i wld give him until 4 pm on monday 2 do it and if he didn't i wld pay myself from our jnt acct.
i struggle now after the fact with that decision. i worry that it will make an already antagonistic relationship worse and that God is not pleased and that is why i feel guilty. that God has a plan how 2 get him to do it on his own and i just stepped bet him and God. I PRAY NOT
i'm tried of going without while he doesnt. i figured eventually his j0b will start taking the money. what dif does it make if i do?
i also wonder if my feeling of guilt has nothing to do with God and is a wmn who is still loving someone and does not want him to be mad.
i talked to him about his lack of support and his only response was that he has his own bills and he forgets to pay.
i decided that i shd go into the jnt acct and pay the support.
i felt it was a moral dilemma but not a legal one.
he sd that he wld pay it. he says that every wk and then pays nothing.
i decided that i wld give him until 4 pm on monday 2 do it and if he didn't i wld pay myself from our jnt acct.
i struggle now after the fact with that decision. i worry that it will make an already antagonistic relationship worse and that God is not pleased and that is why i feel guilty. that God has a plan how 2 get him to do it on his own and i just stepped bet him and God. I PRAY NOT
i'm tried of going without while he doesnt. i figured eventually his j0b will start taking the money. what dif does it make if i do?
i also wonder if my feeling of guilt has nothing to do with God and is a wmn who is still loving someone and does not want him to be mad.
Replies
Wow. You have a joint account? I hope you have opened up your own account, too, and keep a little amount in it in the event he signs you off his account. This happened to me, and you don\'t wanna get caught with your pants down like I did at Christmas! I totally get the deadbeat dad/husband thing. Mine stopped caring altogether. Even though he agreed in court to settle and take care of certain financial obligations, he let a vehicle get repossessed and now I hear the house payments he is living in with the OW and their kids (with my name on it) lapse. Of course, my credit is screwed. I understand your religious stance. I really do. But now, you have to look at it as fighting for your kids and their wellbeing. Ya gotta let the guilt go. I say this because I carried guilt throughout my marriage, not for infidelity, but other trivial things and guilt is something Satan puts on us. He knows it destroys us. You\'ve already asked for forgiveness and are sincere. Let it go. God isn\'t punishing you through a cheating husband. This is your husband\'s choice and he isn\'t following the Lord. The man is supposed to be the head of the household and is responsible for everyone in it. When God is in their lives, these men work to keep their family safe, secure and happy while the whole family walks the right path. I\'ve done a lot of reading on this..Billy Graham was one of the authors of a book I read. What we want isn\'t always what the Lord has planned, believe me. I prayed hard for someone to be placed at the right time and the right place for the Holy Spirit to witness to my then husband so that he could turn his life around. Maybe the Lord did. If so, though, the ex chose to remain disobedient. I feel I wasted so much time hanging in a bad relationship because it was the biblical thing to do. I know you have your hands full. I just hope I have given you something to think about...mainly the letting go of the guilt and moving on. Hugs!