I Feel..... Everyday
I am so sad that I won't get to hold my babies and see them grow and enjoy being their Mom. I am angry that this has happened to me, that I have to hurt this way, it's so underserving! I am extremely envious of women who have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies and live not knowing this pain and wish I could be one of them. I feel so many different emotions about my loss throughout the day, everyday!! Most of all, I just miss my baby boys and while I am able to get through the day easier each day, I know the heartache I have from them being gone will never leave me </3
It's a fact that 1 in 4 women will experience some sort of pregnancy & infant loss at some point in their lives. It's so terribly sad that this is true!! It doesn't make sense that so many women have to endure this type of loss and pain, meanwhile, there are women who don't even want their babies and are giving them away or neglecting them. It's a cruel unfair world we live in, that's another fact.
Yesterday was so hard for me I fought tears at work, then at home, and had little private time to grieve. Looking forward to my therapy session today.
It's a fact that 1 in 4 women will experience some sort of pregnancy & infant loss at some point in their lives. It's so terribly sad that this is true!! It doesn't make sense that so many women have to endure this type of loss and pain, meanwhile, there are women who don't even want their babies and are giving them away or neglecting them. It's a cruel unfair world we live in, that's another fact.
Yesterday was so hard for me I fought tears at work, then at home, and had little private time to grieve. Looking forward to my therapy session today.
Replies
I know what you mean by saying I you wish you could hold your babies and watch them grow. I have a journal I write in and that comes up continuously. When I cry at night for Ava and Phoenix, I just say \"I want them back, I want them back...\" Over and over again. My boyfriend just cries and hugs me, rubs my back, etc. I feel like I\'m affecting him now how depressed I am and with my PTSD and other anxiety issues. This had made me so sad. I too have the pain of having to go through work. I\'m not so strong at some points and have to run out the room to cry. It\'s affected me so much. I have panic attacks all the time where I get like I\'m losing them again. I\'ve had so many losses it\'s so hard and so heartbreaking. I too feel life is unfair and am angry that there are so many women and couples who have children who neglect them, abuse them, use them, etc. to have them so easily when they should be thanking God they have kids. I am SOO angry at that more than ever because people like us that care have so much trouble, and it\'s heartbreaking. You\'re right. It is unfair, and it doesn\'t make any sense at all.
You are lucky to have such great support from your boyfriend. My husband won\'t hug me and says hurtful unsupportive things to me when I cry. If we are in bed he will roll over and turn away from me and go to sleep or leave the room. Sometimes a hug can be so comforting. I wish he wasn\'t so angry and could be there for me while I grieve.
I am so sorry you are going through this as well. It just plain sucks and nobody can fix it or make it better.
I am so sorry that you are in so much emotional pain. You\'re right, there is nothing that anyone can do to fix it or make it better. It is normal to feel the vast array of emotions that you are feeling, difficult as they may be. I promise, you will heal with time. It will not feel like that way for a long time. But just keep breathing, taking care of yourself, and expressing yourself and it will get a little easier to at least breathe and live in time. That amount of time is difficult for everyone. Don\'t worry about how long it takes you or how long it takes others. This is your path. These were your children. Thinking of you.