I drink to forget/ I drink to remember.
My heart is broken tonight. 20 years it took me, to finally find that one real love. After so many painful events, I had put up walls, swearing to keep anyone out that could hurt me. And it worked for a couple of years. I was alone, and safe. But this person... waltzed right in as if those walls were never even there. Completely opened my heart up in the most selfless, unconditional kind of love. It was like the love you see in all those sappy girly movies. The ones that make you tear up just watching them. I've seen those movies time and time again, and even found myself feeling sad when the characters experienced this heartache, but I never truely understood... Watching it is nothing compared to actually experiencing it.
Everything reminds me. Just being here in my apartment is painful. I see the kitchen table that we ate at so many afternoons, a meal that we cooked together. I see the couch that we layed in each others arms on, watching tv until we dozed there just holding each other. The sound of laughter, the facial expressions, all memorized and now taunting my mind. 10 months of the most pure love, and suddenly my whole world seems to have crashed around me. It makes my stomach sick. I never knew that kind of love really existed.
My heart is broken, but I will always love you.
-Hannah
Everything reminds me. Just being here in my apartment is painful. I see the kitchen table that we ate at so many afternoons, a meal that we cooked together. I see the couch that we layed in each others arms on, watching tv until we dozed there just holding each other. The sound of laughter, the facial expressions, all memorized and now taunting my mind. 10 months of the most pure love, and suddenly my whole world seems to have crashed around me. It makes my stomach sick. I never knew that kind of love really existed.
My heart is broken, but I will always love you.
-Hannah
Replies
Hannah, I\'m so sorry you\'re hurting this way. I hope you\'ll take friends support for now to get you through the hardest days, and you\'ll have that chance to find someone who\'s worthy of your love down the road. Hugs, Lisa
I don\'t know if this is possible for you right now Hannah but is there any way (even in your pain) you can say 1) I had the blessing of know what love is 2) I am grateful I got to experience love 3) I had the courage and strength to let down my WALL and enter into a r/ship 4) thank-you (whatever his name is) for being there and allowing me to do this. Doesn\'t take the pain away, but it validates how very strong you are..........Lots of Hugs! Vicki
all things happen for a reason, trust that some good will come out of this, prayers for peace and happiness for you sweetie, love bluebird
Hannah - I am so sorry. Love can be so painful, but the ability to love is priceless. Wishing all the best for you.
Lynne
I\'m sorry for your heartache, and have been there myself, but once time intervenes and makes the good memories sweeter and that bad less important than the good, you (like me) will be able to attest to the famous quote, \"Tis better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all.\" Right now, those words may sting, as you focus on the \"lost\" part, but in time, the \"loved\" part will become the part that you cherish.
For now, I hope you will find support in friends both online and off, to help as you learn to cope with this deep sadness. Sending you hugs across the airwaves.
Hugs,
Wistala
I have only perhaps a small solace for you, love yourself and know that somewhere in the world you are loved - there are more people in your life than one.
And finally, I\'ve noticed in my life that each time I have truly loved someone and it has ended for whatever reason, the next time I found love the experience - the love was so much bigger and stronger that it made the previous loves seem so much smaller in retrospect. (Of course I am a lot older than you).
So I guess what I am trying to say is that it gets better, eventually. I hope this all makes sense...in the meantime I am sending hundreds of small, soft, healing hugs your way...jilly