i dont wanna be alone
i just have no one to talk to. i'm searching these groups looking to talk to someone and no one is here. even A isnt chatting wiht me..hes got the hugs and the love for me but it comes attached to sex and i dont want sex. i want love. i wanna feel loved. doesn't anyone love me?? as i say that..i know the answer..yes i am loved. i just dont wanna feel like this anymore and i dont wanna be alone. i want a hug..i really really need to be held so i can cry and let it all out..i'm tired of hiding my feelings from everyone and being with no one to talk to. my mom is too old and it stresses her..my sis her anxiety and depression is so deep that i think i stress her too...the crisis lines are there for crisis not for counseling. i cant talk to my friends about how i feel b/c most ppl dont wnat to talk about such things..i get oh..i c. you see what? do u see me?
i feel invisible yet stalked. stalked by emotions! dammit..this fn anxiety just wont quit!! im hurting from shaking..and the fat tears are coming now...
i think im going to leave this journal open and just ramble along until i feel better im just lonely i guess...it will get better..im falling i think..i can feel it
ok..i think the heart is slowing down finally..it's only been 5 hours. i went to bed a 3 and woke up at 6 and instant anxiety. it makes me anxious that its the wknd and he got paid, got drunk, i keep hearing about him and i know its just a matter of time before he starts calling again. i know the only thing to do is change my number but i dont want to lose that too. i feel like i've lost when really ive just gained. i've gained my freedom now i just need to be free from this anxiety and i'll be ok
since i dont have anyone to talk to im going to talk to this page. my boy too..he wants everything and i dont have anything! oh boy..its thanksgiving too, i think i'm going to invite my family over tonite and have a bbq. i'm starting to feel better. im feeling exhausted but the anxiety is still there...i want iit to be gone. i need to keep busy but dont want to do anything. i feel like i'm gonna puke. i dunno what to do with myself here....
i feel invisible yet stalked. stalked by emotions! dammit..this fn anxiety just wont quit!! im hurting from shaking..and the fat tears are coming now...
i think im going to leave this journal open and just ramble along until i feel better im just lonely i guess...it will get better..im falling i think..i can feel it
ok..i think the heart is slowing down finally..it's only been 5 hours. i went to bed a 3 and woke up at 6 and instant anxiety. it makes me anxious that its the wknd and he got paid, got drunk, i keep hearing about him and i know its just a matter of time before he starts calling again. i know the only thing to do is change my number but i dont want to lose that too. i feel like i've lost when really ive just gained. i've gained my freedom now i just need to be free from this anxiety and i'll be ok
since i dont have anyone to talk to im going to talk to this page. my boy too..he wants everything and i dont have anything! oh boy..its thanksgiving too, i think i'm going to invite my family over tonite and have a bbq. i'm starting to feel better. im feeling exhausted but the anxiety is still there...i want iit to be gone. i need to keep busy but dont want to do anything. i feel like i'm gonna puke. i dunno what to do with myself here....
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