I don't like telephones
I never have liked telephones. I don't like the sudden sound of their ringing and the interruption they bring to whatever i am giving. I don't like that I can't see the other person and so read their movements and expressions (a similar problem arises on forums and chat rooms but it doesn't seem as bad since I also can't hear them.) Hearing them and not knowing if they are smiling or look confused or whatever expression is behind the tone of their voice bothers me.
So this is how I feel about telephone calls and I know my brother doesn't know this about me though I am sure I have said before that I don't like talking on the phone. But, for some reason he seems to find a reason to call me for what seems to me either stupid meaningless reasons or to be bossy or disparaging about whatever gets in to his head.
Her is a conversatoin I had with him about three weeks ago.
(Phone rings)
Me: Hello
Brother: Kevin
Me: Yay (I must have had some kind of tone to my voice because he then said)
Brother: Am I bothering you?
Me: yay
Brother: (delay of a few seconds) Hangs up.
Maybe a minute later my sister calls up and asks me if I had given my father his morning medicine before I left this morning. I told her I had.
now I suppose my brother calling to ask if UI had given my father his medicine for that morning was a legitimate question but I have yet to ever not give him his medicine so I'm not sure why my brother thought it imortant to call to ask me that.
Then days later he gets argumentative about something I can't remember now and during the argument he brings out how I told him he bothered me calling me on the phone. First of all I didn't tell him he was bothering me. eh asked me if he was bothering me and it wouldn't' matter who had called it would have bothered me. But he holds on to this as if it was something personal and is really angry about it like I'm not supposed to be bothered by him calling me so often with non important questions or comments.
In the five weeks since my situation has started, I have called him, I think, no more than three times on his day away form my father's house. While during that same time he has called me perhaps 30 times sometimes as many as three times a day. Rarely does a day go by that he doens't call me at all about something.
Today he found out from a neighbor of my father's that they were changing the trach day form tuesday to monday in the first week of Feruary. He calls me and asks if I got some notificatoin for this in the mail there and I said yes. He asks why didn't you tell me or leave the notice where I could find it. I didnt even think it was important, I usually ssee other people have put their trash out in the morning and so put the trash out, I'm not even sure what day it is. But I say, it never really occurred to me. Which it didn't. Besides it was two months away when I got the announcement and I didn't nkow I was stil lgoing to be there or that it was a big deal. Maybe it is, but it doen'st seem like it tome at least not anough of a big deal that you wouldnt miss one trash pick up and then know it had changed the next week.
not only this but then he says why didn't you put the trash out, I almost didnt' get it out in time. I 'm thinking, I'm not your mother to tell you when to take the trash out, you have beenthere longer than I have helping them youshould know when the trash goes out. But I say, I usually put it out in the morning of the day they take it. And he says, why dint you remind me this morning to do it? I dint' answer.
so then he tells me if they get some announcement like that I should make sure he knows about it. I jsut say ok, figuring I probably won't think it is anything important the next time and not mentoin it.
Actually I'm not sure I didn't put the announcement in the big pile of notes he is keeping on the kitchen table. It may be there. I don't know how he keeps track of anything the way he throws things into a stack there. There is still notes form the first few days we were there in the stack. I'll have to check. I really don't think I thought it important enough to even keep but I may have.
Am I being petty? Is it my own idiocentricities clashing with his personality or is he being too picky? I think he wants to control as much as he can and so finds something small and more or less meaningless to call me about just to try and place me lower than him in his warped idea of a pecking order. he can't abide anyone disagreeing with him or challenging him or knowing something that he doen'st know and has to prove them wrong or one up them many times.
With everything else going on this is really getting on my nerves. I want to go home and relax and not have to think about it and he disrupts this every time he calls even when it is a legitamate or important reason for calling. I know some of it is my own shortness with him but I dont understand why he needs to make an issue over him not being told that my parents were notified they are changing the trash pickup a month from now.
So this is how I feel about telephone calls and I know my brother doesn't know this about me though I am sure I have said before that I don't like talking on the phone. But, for some reason he seems to find a reason to call me for what seems to me either stupid meaningless reasons or to be bossy or disparaging about whatever gets in to his head.
Her is a conversatoin I had with him about three weeks ago.
(Phone rings)
Me: Hello
Brother: Kevin
Me: Yay (I must have had some kind of tone to my voice because he then said)
Brother: Am I bothering you?
Me: yay
Brother: (delay of a few seconds) Hangs up.
Maybe a minute later my sister calls up and asks me if I had given my father his morning medicine before I left this morning. I told her I had.
now I suppose my brother calling to ask if UI had given my father his medicine for that morning was a legitimate question but I have yet to ever not give him his medicine so I'm not sure why my brother thought it imortant to call to ask me that.
Then days later he gets argumentative about something I can't remember now and during the argument he brings out how I told him he bothered me calling me on the phone. First of all I didn't tell him he was bothering me. eh asked me if he was bothering me and it wouldn't' matter who had called it would have bothered me. But he holds on to this as if it was something personal and is really angry about it like I'm not supposed to be bothered by him calling me so often with non important questions or comments.
In the five weeks since my situation has started, I have called him, I think, no more than three times on his day away form my father's house. While during that same time he has called me perhaps 30 times sometimes as many as three times a day. Rarely does a day go by that he doens't call me at all about something.
Today he found out from a neighbor of my father's that they were changing the trach day form tuesday to monday in the first week of Feruary. He calls me and asks if I got some notificatoin for this in the mail there and I said yes. He asks why didn't you tell me or leave the notice where I could find it. I didnt even think it was important, I usually ssee other people have put their trash out in the morning and so put the trash out, I'm not even sure what day it is. But I say, it never really occurred to me. Which it didn't. Besides it was two months away when I got the announcement and I didn't nkow I was stil lgoing to be there or that it was a big deal. Maybe it is, but it doen'st seem like it tome at least not anough of a big deal that you wouldnt miss one trash pick up and then know it had changed the next week.
not only this but then he says why didn't you put the trash out, I almost didnt' get it out in time. I 'm thinking, I'm not your mother to tell you when to take the trash out, you have beenthere longer than I have helping them youshould know when the trash goes out. But I say, I usually put it out in the morning of the day they take it. And he says, why dint you remind me this morning to do it? I dint' answer.
so then he tells me if they get some announcement like that I should make sure he knows about it. I jsut say ok, figuring I probably won't think it is anything important the next time and not mentoin it.
Actually I'm not sure I didn't put the announcement in the big pile of notes he is keeping on the kitchen table. It may be there. I don't know how he keeps track of anything the way he throws things into a stack there. There is still notes form the first few days we were there in the stack. I'll have to check. I really don't think I thought it important enough to even keep but I may have.
Am I being petty? Is it my own idiocentricities clashing with his personality or is he being too picky? I think he wants to control as much as he can and so finds something small and more or less meaningless to call me about just to try and place me lower than him in his warped idea of a pecking order. he can't abide anyone disagreeing with him or challenging him or knowing something that he doen'st know and has to prove them wrong or one up them many times.
With everything else going on this is really getting on my nerves. I want to go home and relax and not have to think about it and he disrupts this every time he calls even when it is a legitamate or important reason for calling. I know some of it is my own shortness with him but I dont understand why he needs to make an issue over him not being told that my parents were notified they are changing the trash pickup a month from now.
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