I don't know what 2 do anymore..... :'(

I don't know what 2 do anymore..... I feel so upset and worthless..... I lost some friends lately..... they abandoned me..... left me all alone to fight the darkness on my own and I never once abandoned them..... I feel so lost and confused..... I feel so hurt..... They don't know how much pain I feel and how much I wish they didn't leave me..... I just... just.... I don't know anymore..... I just wish I could disappear..... not have to deal with this..... I don't deserve to exist.....