i don't know if this helps but just thinking

In the battle to deal with depression and stuff in general, I realize I have offered

to others to not think in such extremes and now I am taking the same advice for myself.

Could it be that my personal standard for peace and calming qualities be a source of trouble for me?

I have come to learn that it's real important to be ok with discomfort (and still get work done) but maybe

it's also real important to keep a sense of athleticism about things. I have thought this

before but it's coming home to me now more impactfully.

I house sitted this past weekend and I was living in another's standard for a few days.
Now that I am home, I sincerely hope my personal standard for comfort and peace

doesn't overwhelm and subjugate my commitment and success in the goals (basic goals) I need to keep.

All the prickly sides of relationships 'I get' but now that I am back home alone, maybe

those sense of aesthetics, that at one time I had a great will to implement,

that used to drive me to great success, that now I seem to have very little will to achieve..maybe is now something to rethink. And so maybe it's important to keep a sense of sport like attitude to things. While adjusting for depression

or even invasive thoughts. There's good structure and bad structure and I 'get now' you kind of have

to change your perspective to cope with it - like an athlete's pivot to cope with a ball coming his way or

to get past an opponent. I may not have the superb life I once would have wanted for myself - but maybe

that attitude of relativity I have learned so well, to not live in extremes but to live in consideration of relationships and averages and appreciation seems the way to go. I have lots to do around here today. I will get down to it. Peace and best, M