I DID IT!

I made it through the whole visitation and talked to the parents.  The casket was closed so that made it easier for me.  I think that will be harder for the parents.  It was hard going in the funeral home and we had to wait in line as there were many visitors.  It reminded me so much of Scott's visitation.  The funeral home director/owner came and gave me a big hug and I broke down.  He has been a family friend for years and has also lost a son.  I told the Mom we would come by in a couple of wks. when things calmed down if that was ok.  She agreed.  I was crying harder than she was.  I know she is still in shock.  The Dad said he was waiting for the dust to settle.  I warned him when it did settle, it would come crashing down!  Otherwise, today was not terrible.  I went to the cemetery and put an Easter decoration out for Scott.  I "chatted" with him a while.  At one point I was trying to re-position a big flower arrangement from his friends and I said, just like he was there, "Scott, help me with this thing, please."  It was kind of funny, in a way, 'cause I was talking to him just like he was there, like I always did.  And yet, it was sad.  But "we" did get it set right.   I miss him so much.  It seems like Easter was just a minute ago and we were all, except my mother-in-law, Marjorie,  having a wonderful meal, laughing, and eating chocolate bunnies.  We missed Marjorie a lot but she was 85.  It is different. This year will not be so fun.  I will cook. I think.  I am still waiting to see who is coming.  I have chocolate bunnies, but I am one short.  Scott always enjoyed the "fancy" meals the most, and the leftovers.  I enjoyed smacking his hand, in fun, as he snatched whatever food I was dealing with at the time.  He would just grin his onery grin and snatch some more. It was playful and fun.  Chris & Adam don't really do that.  They eat, after it is ready, enjoy it, and go on about their business.   Ah well, it is what it is......