I come home.

does our illness become our identity? I think it's important to exercise some creativity

and try not to make it the safe place to refer back to as 'who I am'....

My Dad was talking about that yesterday night. He was telling me how a family friend,

since her divorce, has become a professional victim. She's in an infinity loop though it's been years -

and he was saying that it seems like it is her 'safe place to be.' I totally get that -

and we talked about the concept's relevancy to my mental health challenge.

I didn't take offense. I thought it incredibly insightful. And so I am exercising my rights

and trying to create a life that is not just about my challenges.

I thought earlier that same evening, before my Dad and I spoke, and it was after work on the way home,

I was transitioning back to my non-workaday life and I really felt like my life is nothing...

I thought maybe we all have existential awstricking feelings when we're in nature or whever...

not in an 'oh woe is me' way - but I just thought "What is my life?!" "Who am I?"

and "What am I coming home to?" (reminds me of the Talking Heads song)...coming home not to just one person....but a group of people..

and my cat - and a borrowed room (cell) that I am living in.

My Dad's comments really pushed the button in me that made me want to start

searching for things to do and create, perhaps for a mission sense or just self expression,

in my life for the purpose of giving me a purpose.