I caved and POAS: BFN

After feeling so crappy last night, I decided I couldn't hold out anymore, so I POAS at 6am this morning. BFN. I am devastated even though I kinda expected it. It was still torture to see only one pink line. I know it sounds silly, but I brought the stick super close to my eyes to make sure there wasn't a faint line that I just couldn't see (though something tells me at least one of you if not many, have done this). Nope, just one thick, dark pink line. I know my odds are slim, and I know there were no guarantees and blah blah all that other stuff, but somehow I still hoped I might just get lucky for once in this process and get a BFP with my first FET. Although we are not giving up and will do another FET, we only have 2 left and so these have to count. It's really hitting me hard right now that this might just not happen. Ever. And I am drowning in a puddle of my own tears. Beta is tomorrow but that's just gonna be a waste of time now (even though there's a tiny part of me that is hoping the HPT is wrong; denial is so much easier!)
Happy fucking Independence day to me. Hope you are all enjoying your 4th of July and doing well!!! xoxo