I can't wait until my therapist gets better
I have to admit, I can't wait to have her to talk to.
Things are good, I guess I am just lonely for the one on one time
where we talk about things that come to mind. She is a terrific Doctor.
I'm hoping this time, to take care of my emotions on my own here with you guys,
will yield fruit in some way.
Talk therapy is such a luxury and god-send.
Something that's come to mind is that when younger and I couldn't seem to be able to find some peace of
mind.. my mother would say 'Mark, just please yourself!"
and that's something I tried but could not do...
and now in recent days and this morning I seem to be coming up
against that hairy critic within me - but it's like I've discovered
how to switch that critic to a more neutral moderate caring perspective.
When I was on my own, when I was away from my family, my inner 'beat to my own drum'
got me into trouble - I became very sick and did not know when to stop
and rest..
Now today I feel as though I can - and I'll go carefully forward with my new
moderate critic and standard inside. It's like a sounding board within that's been fortified
with a gentle wisdom spirit.
Just again thinking about moving on with beating my own drum in life, it seems so much that when I have done things in my life, what motivates me is to please other people - and so I thought back to the idea of why - and the idea of 'please yourself' today - and that lead to the first part of this journal.
Something in me wants to power me down - I don't know what that is-
something in me wants to go for something and then I think i should step back
and want something elementally more significant.
There's something in me that wants to manifest my dreams
but then I think that maybe I am meant for this life - right here right now
- this life of community rather than another kind -
is it the change that spooks me? to risk change?? Is it the disaster that my risk once created that spooks me??
Or is it that I am meant to be right here - kind of living on the edges of
different groups of people - finding peace with my community..?
I feel ready for a risk - and I'll use Nikki's concept of that I might just be
ready for a new 'era' in my life. Things are good.
Replies
I feel safe and stable right now, but also feeling like I could be braver in my life. So it's time to try things.
i often wonder if impatience is the grandest obstacle to achieving my dreams. not too many of my dreams include the long, dreary hours of study, practice, trial and error, growth, etc., etc. my dreams are always about the finished product far more than the development and building process.
i thoroughly agree that you could be braver and more adventurous in life. take a risk, safety joe. among the more solid guarantees in life is nothing ventured, nothing gained.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEPcG1KjoY8
Thanks Arfie.. I appreciate it.
Sending hugs. xoxo
Thanks Nikki!