I Can't....

He cried...said he was dying and didn't have long to live.  He needed me, he needed us and although in the back of my mind I kept seeing the signs that "the monster" was peeping through the cracks I tried to meet him scared not to for fear of him telling the truth about his cancer.  I've tried and I've tried and I've tried AND I've tried but at the end of the day, no matter how long the day is, I end up getting hurt.  I can't do it anymore.  I'm really not a fighter or a grudge holder.  It hurts when I'm causing him pain but when I go close to him he eventually causes me pain.  I ALWAYS end up sad, crying, hurt and not understanding why. But I can't do it anymore. But what if something happens??? How do I live with the thought of turning away and never looking back because that's exactly where I am.  Please has anyone been a relationship with someone you love, who is terminal and abusive and you walked away??? Please share with me.