i can't tell if a man is interested....

i was at a party and this guy smiled @ me.  i smiled @ him, but didnt know what 2 make of it if anything.  i havent seen myself as available in so long i dont know if id be aware if someone wasnt overt. 
earlier in the day a man was very direct but he was married and im not interested.  i who is dont know if i shd b dating or not really...with someone who is single.  im going to be separated soon.
i was supposed 2 move out this weekend, but there was a glitch.  i pray that the glitch will b fixed this wk.  im optimistic that it will work out.  if it doesnt i will demand my deposit back and keep looking.  i still shd move.  im clear about that, just not sure that this is the right apt.
i pray that i wont lose my deposit. i pray that this is not some scam.
anyway im glad that im getting attn, but i dont know yet what 2 do with it.  i used 2 b very direct in my persuing of a young man.  i dont want 2 pursue anymore.  i want 2 b pursued. and since im in no rush i can wait.  now that ive had love and seen that it can be great and sucky...im in no rush. 
i had a great time 2nite.  im so glad i went.  and im glad that i didnt go with a man.  no pressure.  i pray that ill learn 2 b gd sweet and kind and also confident sure and unsettling. 
i pray that i will heal.  when the 1st guy hit on me....i can tell he saw my pain.  i wear it like a necklace or a perfume.  but i dont wanna pretend its not there.  i dont wanna cover it up with something.  i want it 2 heal in its own time.  i dont wanna wallow in it but i dont wanna riush the mourning either.  i pray that i will heal.  amen