I can't take this

Another shitty day so far today. I'm a wreck. I really don't know how much more I can take. The wife is now saying that she's going away this weekend. The story her fathers birthday, which is this weekend, however she's lied multiple times before about going away so that she could go see her boyfriend. I just don't know what I am supposed to do at this point. I have an apt with a Dr. tomorrow to hopefully get on some meds. I know that this weekend I will be a basket case not knowing where she is or who she's with. She knows how badly this affects me but still does it anyway. She says that she loves me but really doesn't show it at all. We have another counseling session this Monday, I'm hoping she will use it to tell our therapist and I that she has broken off the affair. This woman means the world to me but she is just completely destroying me. I am such a mess. I drive around working and crying all day long, I can't help it. I have no control over my emotions anymore. I used to be so good at bottling things up and compartmentalizing. No more.