I Can't Stop Crying
This is suppossed to be such a happy time in my life. My sister in law keeps teasing me about how I should be smiling, we just bought the perfect house for 25 000 less then they were asking. But I just can't bring myself to even consider smiling anymore.I can't stop crying. Ever since Joey told me that his dad doesn't want my name on the title of the house. Suddenly it just feels like it's not our house, it's his house, and I'm just going to be borrowing some space in it. I feel overwhelmed that it's up to me to pack up our tiny, over stuffed, messy house. And it's up to me to get the health inspector in to look at the bad things. And it's up to me to get things hooked up at the new house. And it's not even going to be my house.I'm depressed and I don't really know how to deal with it right now. Maybe it is just going to go away in a few day's when I can rationalize better. Or maybe it's going to stick around. I don't know. But this is going to be such a hectic month that I can't dwell on it.I'm so tired all the time. I went to bed at 5pm last night, and when I got up to get my baby a bottle I found my house a pig sty. There were dishes on the table, the stove, the counter and in the sink. Food was stuck to the table, stove and floor. There were toys scattered across the living room, and one of my fiancees neices had pulled all of the baby blankets out of the drawer and unfolded them. There was dirty laundry on both couches and on the floor.And my fiancee tells me I have no reason to be upset. I'm a stay at home mom right now, so I can just clean it tomorrow.It's 4am right now, and I can't go back to sleep. I'm still tired. But I just can't stop crying.