I can't give up
I sit here in my living room and the day is seriously boring...I don't seem to have the imagination
to do much with it - besides eating and watching tv...why don't I further my goals? - what are my goals? Why don't I have much imagination? Or sense of what I enjoy doing?
I can't give up on myself - and it's coming to me in a renewed sense of living with a disability -
not a great, adventurous or fun life... humility and peacefulness and a sense of order indeed...but I need to not give up on myself and know that my life has value and when I think about having goals I seem to put a stop to that initiative.. I have to keep a lid on my enthusiasm because I have "this illness" and I need to keep myself 'in check' before I go for anything imaginative or that might awaken a great enthusiasm that would lead to mania. I can't give up - I wonder if I can do both? Re-awaken my imagination and yet also negotiate the schizoaffective disorder. I can't let my family down by losing perspective and I can't give up on trying.
Replies
So, What are your goals?
Create them, write them down and try to achieve them. Maybe small goals at first, then larger in time.
Big hug Marky..... I'm sorry that you're struggling..... I think for most of us life isn't regularly super exciting ….. and I think it's important to take time to stop and smell the flowers
I'm glad that giving up is not an option for you sweetie...… Imagining good things for yourself is a good thing.... Maybe try not to over analyze you're thinking toooooo much
thanks guys. I really feel like most of my energy is about 'maintaining' - I will start to write stuff down as it occurs
to me - or better I might schedule some time where I will devote my thoughts to developing ideas.