I am Taylor's divided brain.

I am two. I am a lover who is alone. Every passing day reminds me more and more of how alone I am. And I hate myself more and more for it. My only reliefs are dreams, where I can revisit those memories vividly, and pain. Cutting is such a relief for me, yet it leaves me worse in more than one way. From bleeding I feel a relief that comes with the clarity. But later I feel ashamed, I feel like an addict, because that's what I am, I feel like a failure, worthless. I want to join the military for two reasons, the dedication it's going to take will hopefully drown out all else and two I'm gonna look pretty good afterwards, if I make it out alive that is; and if I don't, then so be it, it's not like too many people are gonna miss me. Will it suck to die from being shot? Probably, but is there really any good way?