I AM SO NOT OKAY!
11-21/22-09: It is VERY late/early depending on how you look at it. I miss Scott so badly I can hardly stand it! I seem to be okay for a bit and then I just tumble totally back! My heart still hurts so much! Tonight Adam went to Melissa's home to get a couch & chair. Melissa's mom & dad got a new one. Anyway, Melissa's mom sent a scarf/hat/glove set, home with Adam, to give to me. It was a set I gave to her just the Christmas before she passed away. She thought I should have it. It made me so sad! I am barely processing Scott's death. I don't think I have even begun to process Melissa's! My itty-bitty Tinkerbell is gone. I know this. But, I just don't think I really "know" it. And now, Adam has another girlfriend named Melissa! She is a sweetheart but not my "Tink". Maybe it is the holidays, maybe it is that I have'nt had my anti-depressent in two days, maybe it is just that it just doesn't make sense. I don't know! All I really know is that I feel awful! And, more than that, I feel awful as a friend. I have not been in contact with any of my friends. Oh, I have forwarded a few e-mails...but, I have not really been in contact. I am just BLAH! I guess I just want a little cheese with my whine!