I am so lucky I have therapy tonight
I wrote this journal, to my therapist today - I shared it with someone else
and the result is me seeing that maybe I ask too much of this person
and I have to keep it to the site and with my therapist. I am realizing
we each have different needs and I am grateful this person is there
for mine so much of the time - Different needs and being strong in myself
are a theme I'm holding onto.
the following is the journal.
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Things are going good today.
I had to take a parishioner to a dentist
appointment an hour away and
i learned a great deal.
I was realizing how playful my mind was
because "it is" - creative and animal like - and left unchecked that can get
me into trouble - if i don't look at the thoughts
and address it as ok THAT IS MY MIND BEING PLAYFUL. honor it
and be ok with it - in a way - see the humanity of it - but then keep on task
and so ultimately it was very good to have the parishioner to care for
and on the ride - he grounded me - and I realize how both of our minds were playful - talking back and forth
and dealing with just being on the road
and there was some moments of the darkside coming out
and some times of just realizing that I needed to get him
to the office - and so I kind of shut him down and kept him in place
. It was weird to say that, it's new to me but I saw the behavior echoed in so many around me
in the past. I kept my mind on the road
I was trying to not be speaking out of my bum at times when talking to him because of my creative mind
- and I was aiming to try to
be true to the responsible and just true in the moment - and I was buoyed of the emotional truth between us -
and so then I got him to the office - early (yay!) and he went in -
I then heard from my friend Father Orr.
he is having some health problems -
I was so caught up in taking care of Robbie (the parishioner)
but I caught myself and stopped and assuaged Father Or's fears.
I took ownership of the relationship with Father Or and I then took ownership
of the relationship with Robbie.
I am understanding the relationships now on another dimension
and serving this community is rather nice - perhaps in the 'ownership'
I can express - the part of 'my own design' that I need, that is a part of the community here.
I realized my Dad takes ownership - and is there -
I know how to take of others now too -
while driving Robbie I felt such love for the brother ship
we shared - and it overwhelmed me -
I kept at keeping focused -
and back on dealing with the job at hand
I realize at some point I've got to go for what I want.
but I can keep steady -
and knowing of the playfulness my mind can have
and steady on
Replies
It's great that you have a therapy appt sweetie
I hope that it helps
I'm sorry that your friend is having health concerns
I hope he'll be okay
It reads like you had a nice chat on the way to the dentist
B2ig hug sweetie...xo
Thanks Jan!