I Am Really Upset!!
First off, to any Jehovah Witness's who read this, no offence is intended to you, I'm angry at this one particular woman. The fact that she happens to be a Jehovah doesn't put any bearing on my feelings toward the religion or it's people.
Now, my mother has always had faith in a 'higher power' though she has never put a label on it. We kids are all baptized Lutherns, and while my dad was alive we attended church regularily. When he died, my mum started working three jobs to keep us from homelessness, church was no longer an option, but she always held out there was that higher power looking out for her(she is a 12 stepper in case the higher power thing didn't tip you off)
Recentley she has started meeting with this Jehovah Witness lady, and she is really getting into the religion. Once a week they meet and discuss the Book of Jehovah(if that's what its called, if not, pardon my ignorance) and talk about the religion and such. Mum is always telling me little tidbits she learns, and on occasion I do bite my tongue and just smile, but it is her belief, and I won't squash it.
When I came out as an athiest my mum supported the crap out of me. She publicly defended me, she encouraged me not to back down when people called me names and told me Hell was my final destination, she hugged me when I came home crying after a kid at school told me that if I was an athiest then my bastard father should be glad he was dead. If it wasn't for her, I may still be going to church and hating myself for lying to all the people and myself.
I hadn't met this lady she was meeting with but today I went over their a little earlier then planned and caught them at the end of their session. The lady started talking to me, feeling me out, and I told her the truth.
I am an athiest.
Her face would of been hysterical if not for the words. She told me that if I didn't have faith in the Greater Being that I was unfit for motherhood. That my daughter would only suffer at my hands and be tainted by a childhood of evils and uneduction. She actually told me that my daughter should be taken from me and put in a good family!
I was furious, and when the lady left I turned to my mum and said 'can you believe that woman?'
And my mum, worded carefully albeit, told me that the lady was somewhat right! She told me I would never be the best mum I could be until I welcomed God and his Son into my life.
That really hurt. I felt like my mum had been poisoned(once again, no offence intended). Where was the woman who supported me in my choice to let people know my beliefs? Where was the woman who told me as long as I was happy, that was all that mattered? Why, now, was the woman in front of me telling me that I wasn't good enough unless I embraced her Lord?
I let it drop, religion can cause irreprable rifts, and I don't want such a thing between my mother and I. But it really hurt to hear her say those things. That woman wasn't the first person to talk down to me, insult me, and scorn me because of my athiesm, so her words sort of flowed off of me.
But my mother.
And Marlow wasn't old enough to understand, but it made me think. What about when she is old enough? What do I tell her when she hears people tell me I am going to Hell, or that I am a Devil worshipper? I always assumed I would tell her that some people believe in different things then others, and each person has to make thier own choice. No one could make it for you. I've always held firm that if she shows an interest in God, I will personally take her to Sunday school. And I went to church long enough to be able to talk about religion with some knowledge. Plus, when I was seriously considering athiesm at about age ten, I read the bible front to back.
But what if that's not enough? What if it embarasses her that her mommy is so different? I know I am not the only non believer, but it seems like alot of people are scared to say that they don't believe. You get alot of 'I dunno, I think there is something.....' and 'Well, everything had to come from somewhere, so....' but not alot of people flat out say 'no, I don't believe, I believe in the here and now, not the there and what was or there and what will be'.
I know, I'm rambling. And once again, NO OFFENCE to anyone! I would never condemn someone for thier beliefs, I think it's an amazing thing, faith, it's just not for me. I'm just really hurt. I tried to bring it up that it hurt me and all my mum would say was that she is a different person now then she was back when she supported me.
Now, my mother has always had faith in a 'higher power' though she has never put a label on it. We kids are all baptized Lutherns, and while my dad was alive we attended church regularily. When he died, my mum started working three jobs to keep us from homelessness, church was no longer an option, but she always held out there was that higher power looking out for her(she is a 12 stepper in case the higher power thing didn't tip you off)
Recentley she has started meeting with this Jehovah Witness lady, and she is really getting into the religion. Once a week they meet and discuss the Book of Jehovah(if that's what its called, if not, pardon my ignorance) and talk about the religion and such. Mum is always telling me little tidbits she learns, and on occasion I do bite my tongue and just smile, but it is her belief, and I won't squash it.
When I came out as an athiest my mum supported the crap out of me. She publicly defended me, she encouraged me not to back down when people called me names and told me Hell was my final destination, she hugged me when I came home crying after a kid at school told me that if I was an athiest then my bastard father should be glad he was dead. If it wasn't for her, I may still be going to church and hating myself for lying to all the people and myself.
I hadn't met this lady she was meeting with but today I went over their a little earlier then planned and caught them at the end of their session. The lady started talking to me, feeling me out, and I told her the truth.
I am an athiest.
Her face would of been hysterical if not for the words. She told me that if I didn't have faith in the Greater Being that I was unfit for motherhood. That my daughter would only suffer at my hands and be tainted by a childhood of evils and uneduction. She actually told me that my daughter should be taken from me and put in a good family!
I was furious, and when the lady left I turned to my mum and said 'can you believe that woman?'
And my mum, worded carefully albeit, told me that the lady was somewhat right! She told me I would never be the best mum I could be until I welcomed God and his Son into my life.
That really hurt. I felt like my mum had been poisoned(once again, no offence intended). Where was the woman who supported me in my choice to let people know my beliefs? Where was the woman who told me as long as I was happy, that was all that mattered? Why, now, was the woman in front of me telling me that I wasn't good enough unless I embraced her Lord?
I let it drop, religion can cause irreprable rifts, and I don't want such a thing between my mother and I. But it really hurt to hear her say those things. That woman wasn't the first person to talk down to me, insult me, and scorn me because of my athiesm, so her words sort of flowed off of me.
But my mother.
And Marlow wasn't old enough to understand, but it made me think. What about when she is old enough? What do I tell her when she hears people tell me I am going to Hell, or that I am a Devil worshipper? I always assumed I would tell her that some people believe in different things then others, and each person has to make thier own choice. No one could make it for you. I've always held firm that if she shows an interest in God, I will personally take her to Sunday school. And I went to church long enough to be able to talk about religion with some knowledge. Plus, when I was seriously considering athiesm at about age ten, I read the bible front to back.
But what if that's not enough? What if it embarasses her that her mommy is so different? I know I am not the only non believer, but it seems like alot of people are scared to say that they don't believe. You get alot of 'I dunno, I think there is something.....' and 'Well, everything had to come from somewhere, so....' but not alot of people flat out say 'no, I don't believe, I believe in the here and now, not the there and what was or there and what will be'.
I know, I'm rambling. And once again, NO OFFENCE to anyone! I would never condemn someone for thier beliefs, I think it's an amazing thing, faith, it's just not for me. I'm just really hurt. I tried to bring it up that it hurt me and all my mum would say was that she is a different person now then she was back when she supported me.
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