I am not even sure who I am

I absolutely lost it with my husband last night and to a point of insanity. Since I shared some difficult information with him a week ago about a difficult earlier life experience I posted about yesterday, this entire week has been horrific. His reactions and responses to me at times when I can even get one have been wretched. have been a basket case. I am up and down emotionally. Aching crying, unable to concentrate at work, unable to even know how to talk to him or if I even should... unsure what our interaction will be when I get home, fights, silence, nasty comments at times back and forth. Last night I literally lost my shit after a foul interaction between us. We are sleeping in separate rooms. He made a nasty comment last night right before going to bed after i asked him is it not even possible for you to speak to me now? I became irate when he fired Back. In began yelling and screaming at him. Pulled all of his clothes out of drawers and dumped them in the living room floor. Screamed at him to leave. Threw things, slammed doors. He eventually got up and told me that he was about to start turning things over. I was shaking with anger. I have never in my life behaved like that. Ever. I have absolutely no idea who I was last night but it's cared the hell out of me. I finally calmed down and put things away after he started picking them up. I told him I didn't know how to do anything with him at this point. I did not sleep. At all last night. I have started smoking this week after not having a cigarette in more than six years. At least I checked with my insurance today and reached out to a counseling center to schedule an appointment. Now I just need them to call me back. And hopefully soon. I am less tense today and was able to give my employer a full day of my time, which isn't something I can say for the last week. I have got to see someone for help. I can't even tell who o am right now.