I AM HOT! (AS IN TEMP, NOT LOOKS)
Wed. Night, Late: Holy Cow!....it is so hot and humid! I really shouldn't complain too much 'cause I really hate the cold. But, this humidity is crazy! I can't stay dry! Of course, I have been really busy cleaning up from camping. I have been doing laundry like crazy and have to keep going in and out of the camper. It is REALLY hot in there! The dog is gone, I am pretty sure. I don't even know what happened. POOF! It is kind of strange he just appeared and then disappeared a week later. I can't say I will miss him except for the warning bark of someone pulling in the drive. I am still cleaning up his messes! I wish I had taken a photo of my mulched area before he came. It was sooo pretty. It is still nice but not like it was. I have lots of plants/flowers in pots in that area. I don't have to weed that way and it looks nice. And, I wish I had taken a picture of him. Oh well, compared to other things in my life, it is nothing. And, compared to losing Scott, it is less than nothing! I keep myself in check that way, comparing any annoyance to losing my son. I find that nothing is really very important except my family. I spent some time in the pool today. It was a good day for it. Most of the time was spent cleaning it, but that is relaxing to me, too. Tomorrow/today, it will be nice and clean and still be really hot out. I intend to float around and work on my tan. I am getting pretty dark. I like that 'cause as a friend once told me...."Tanned fat looks better than un-tanned fat." (The cellulite isn't quite as obvious) lol I think I am coming out of my very looooong slump. At least for now. I am still really depressed and sad, but not the way I have been. I am really trying! I even managed to watch a whole DVD movie tonight. It was pretty sad in many ways, though. "We Own The Night". Drug dealers, death, etc. But in the end the dealer got his due and the guy turned his life around. It just made me think of Scott. I got an invitation, from an ex boss, to a poetry reading from two of the authors books. It is the 29th of July. I think I will try to go. I haven't seen him for quite some time. He was the editor of our small town paper several years ago. I was the office manager and wrote many things. I really enjoyed that job. Then, the paper sold, I bought a liquor store (now sold) and haven't written much since. Larry, the ex boss, and I, got along very well. Now he is a teacher at our local community college. Anyway, he is friends with the poet and it will be at a really cool coffee house, so I may go. I don't know if Craig will go with me or not. Writing, poetry, etc., is really not his thing. I will invite Chris, too. It is much more his thing. But, I think he is "mad" at me. Yes, Chris is annoyed, mad, whatever you want to call it, with me. I think. I think I gave him a little bit too much of a "hard time" about meeting this new girl. I was just teasing him but apparently he didn't find it amusing. I just really want him to go on a date, have fun, etc. So, I have butted out. I didn't mean to bother him. Maybe he is just more serious about this than I thought. So, he has not talked to me, or emailed, since last week. I did leave a voice mail to let him know we were home and he called back and talked to Adam but that is all. I was outside at the time. We are like this sometimes....very close and then very distant. I think it is the moon or something because it has always been this way. Or, maybe it is just me annoying my son. I do it with the best of intention. Ah, well.... Ramble, ramble, ramble....Guess I should get to bed. It is a little after 2 a.m. here. Sleep does not come easily to me.
Replies
I\'m sure Chris will come round, he needs to know that teasing him about his new girlfriend is just part of a mother\'s role! Hopefully an invitation to a poetry reading will do the trick. Hugs, Charlotte. xox
It\'s HOT here, too! I keep saying i won\'t complain about the heat, but it\'s becoming a challenge this past week :-) Like you, I really love my pool. Don\'t know what I would do without it. So glad to hear you are coming out of your slump a bit. Feels good, doesn\'t it? It\'s so draining being down in that dark place. The poetry reading sounds wonderful! A nice relaxing, calm atmosphere. Have you read his poetry? They aren\'t too gloomy, are they? Just putting myself in your shoes and thinking I wouldn\'t do too well with it if most of what he wrote about was lost love, personal loss, etc. Have a good day, my friend. It\'s raining here, so no pool time but a relief from the extreme heat for a bit! XOXO Adrianne
I agree, Chris will come around--he just didn\'t like to be teased. Evidently this girl means something a little more to him, huh? I liked your comment about the tanned cellulite--reminds me of the \"Quaker\" lady who has all the blitzy clothes on QVC--always says, \"If you can\'t lose it, decorate it!\" My kind of lady! I have been \"fluffy\" my whole life. Thank God that Jamie was slender! Hugs to you, hoping it cools down a little! Judy
I am glad you are coming around...it is our lives now I guess...up, down...I definitely think you should go to the poetry reading...how cool is that! You love that type thing and it might inspire you to write again...you have many emotions that you did not have before and it could be theraputic. Love to you...Karen
Very happy for you for feeling half way alive I think keeping busy helps alot.Sorry about Chris but he\'ll come around Justin use to do that to me too.Enjoy the pool.jfm24,Vicki
Glad you\'re climbing out of your slump. Maybe it won\'t last long but you know it\'s possible. You\'re so right, nothing compares to losing a child so we shouldn\'t let \"little\" things annoy us. I think Chris will come around. Until they are parents, they wont understand that all we have is their best interest at heart. Sorry it\'s so humid. We don\'t have the humidity but sometimes that dry hot air is stifling. Love to you friend. Robin
It has been hot here in Stockton also, 2 weeks ago we hit 113. I mean really what the heck is that about. I have to tell you I am so jealous about you being able to get through a DVD. I can\'t do it. I try all the time. Thank God for On Demand, I can start and stop constantly. There seems to be something in the air lately with son\'s and their girls. My son Matthew and his girlfriend Diana have been dating since 1st year in hight school, but they are going through something lately and if I ask Matt, he just gets all bent out of shape. We just moved into a place together and I am trying not to have things go downhill so soon. Let\'s hope for a cool breeze.
I\'m glad you are feeling better. Travis gets pissed at me all the time. I don\'t even know what I\'ve done! I think he is just very emotional. He gets over it though, I\'m sure Chris will too. Hugs honey, Barbara
Glad you\'re feeling some better. I think Karen\'s right that this is what our lives are like now...up and down and down and up. Love and hugs, Cyn