I am full of anger and resentment

I am full of anger and resentment for the way my life is now without Smokey in it. 
I am angry and resentful that Smokey died.
I am angry and resentful that I have to look for a part-time job.
I am angry and resentful at couples that look so happy together but I am alone.
I am angry and resentful that eventually I will find another man in my life.
I am angry and resentful that Smokey wanted me to find someone else after he died.
I am angry and resentful that God allowed all this to happen to me.
I am angry and resentful that potential employers call me for a job but I don't know why because I do need a part-time job.
I am angry and resentful that I get the interview but not the job.
I am angry and resentful at happy people when I am not there yet.
I am angry and resentful that my life has changed so much since Smokey died.  It is not what I wanted but no one asked me.
I am angry and resentful that I still count the months since Smokey died.  I am at eight months now.  It goes fast but I wish my heart and soul would heal. 
I am angry and resentful at all the good people who love me and give me unsolicited advice. 
I am angry and resentful at the world for continuing on when my Smokey died.  It just doesn't seem fair.
I am angry and resentful for living when my Smokey died.  I wish we could have exchanged places, he would be the one living and I would be the one that died.  This is my biggest anger and resentful for me continuing to live when Smokey died.  It just is not fair.  Smokey got death whereas I got life.  I don't understand this at all.  Smokey was a good,  kind and decent man who loved to help people.  He was a lot better than me.  It seems all the good people die and it leaves the rest of us.  I don't understand this at all either. 
I am angry and resentful at a lot of things.  I have given all this to God.  I pray for peace of mind, body and soul.  It would be nice from Diane